Malevolence

Chapter 30:

Please read the Writer's not before continuing to read this chapter.

Evelyn:

Pregnant?

I'm...I'm pregnant?

How is that possible? My pill...my damn pill, that's how!

I forgot to take my pill – three weeks ago! – so there is a good chance that I am actually pregnant, and Dr. Alvan isn't talking shit. Although, I'd like to think this is some kind of joke, where people are hiding, ready to jump out and scream 'Gotcha!'. I know that won't happen however, I don't think Dr. Alvan is the joking type, especially when she states that I am pregnant.

But how? Just...how can I be?

Well...you and Ransom –

Yes I know! Ugh! My self-conscious is right once again!

Ransom and I have had many intimate moments for the past three weeks – and I mean a lot!

Look at last night!

We were very intimate – and we were in so many positions – so it is definitely possible that I am pregnant.

But what will Ransom think of the pregnancy?

Shit! What do I think of the pregnancy...? No! I know I'm not ready to be a mother! I certainly know I am not ready to have a baby! Am I even capable of having a child?

I would need to have a stable job – wait! I do have one.

I would need to be financially stable – wait! I am, thanks to Harlan.

I would need a big enough place to stay – which I have already, again, thanks to Harlan.

I would need a car – I have that already. It's parked outside this hospital.

So I have all the assets...but I still don't know if I am cut out to be a mother. A freaking mother!

I mean, is Ransom cut out to be a father?

Oh...Ransom being a father...just imagining it, I don't think he is ready to be a father as of yet.

I can picture it now: Diapers, puke, crying, screaming – and not just by the baby – and us being kept awake at night!

So if both of us are not cut out to be parents, do I give up –

NO! Don't you dare think about giving up the baby! Besides, are you really pregnant?

Well, if I am pregnant...then what am I going to do? What am I going to tell Ransom?

And what am I going to do about my child's well being? What cot am I going to buy? What pram do I purchase? Which kindergarten do I send my child to? Which school would be best suited for my child? What –

"Evelyn? Evelyn, darling?" My mother shakes me, breaking my train of worried thoughts. "My girl, are you okay?"

No! I am brooding about what I need to do for my child!

"And what are you doing?" My mother questions.

I look down and I realize that I have wrapped my arms around myself, and I am swaying from side to side.

"Should we call the paramedics?" My mother screeches, making my skin jump.

"I don't think that will be necessary." Dr. Alvan says calmly.

"Then why is my daughter not responding to me?" My mother says, frantically shaking me. "Evelyn!"

I don't even push my mother away. I am too busy thinking about what Ransom will think about having a b-ba-baby in our lives – in my life.