I'm out of focus during my afternoon classes hanggang sa uwian. I was so shock 'bout the news Jen told me.
Hindi ko mawari kung ano ba ang nararamdaman ko, I feel sad and anxious at the same time.
"Hey," napatalon ako nang kaunti sa aking upuan. He chuckled. "Sorry, you okay? You seem out of focus." Si Jisnel at umupo sa tabi ko.
"Where is Liam?" I answered him with a question.
"I don't know. Why?"
"Nothing,"
He sighed. "'Di ka pa ba uuwi?" Tanong niya habang tumatayo sabay sukbit ng bag sa balikat.
I looked at him with questioning eyes. He read my expression. He pressed his hands on my table and smiled. "Silly, kanina pa tapos ang klase." He said while patting my head. "I waited for 30 minutes before going out and seems like you're spacing out the whole time." He added.
Nabalik ako sa katinuan sa kaniyang sinabi. "O-oh, let's go." Nagmadali akong ayusin ang mga gamit ko at i-shoot sa loob ng bag.
"Why are you looking for Liam, may nangyari ba?" Tanong niya nang makalabas kami sa room.
"Wala, matagal na rin kasi no'ng huli natin siyang kasamang umuwi." I answered him with a lie. I'm kinda suspicious about Liam being not around us these past days.
"Right. Seems like he's always busy. Laging siya ang nauunang lumabas kapag uwian. Minsan naman absent."
Sa hapong iyon ay sabay kaming umuwi ni Jisnel. Every now and then napapabuntong hininga ako. Nagdadalawang isip ako kung sasabihin ko ba sa kaniya ang tungkol sa case ni Jessica at ang kuneksiyon nina Clarie, Jen, at Gwen sa isa't isa o itatago ko na lamang itong sikreto.
"Clarie took her life. Pagkaalis mo kanina ay tumawag ako kay Clarie, tatanungin ko sana kung papasok siya ngayong araw pero walang sumasagot kaya nag-iwan na lang ako ng voicemail." Pagkukwento ni Jen.
I remained silent, listening to her and analyzing every word she says.
She sighed. "Then Tita Farina, Clarie's mom called me a while ago and announced a very shocking news." She sobbed. Pinahid niya ang tumulong luha sa pisngi at nagpatuloy. "She told me that Clarie hanged herself in her bedroom. Her face..." she cried again. "Her face... full of dried tears, and her cheeks are turning purple. Her hands are so pale." Nahihirapan siyang sabihin ang bawat salitang binibitawan niya dahil sa kaniyang lag-iyak. Nilakasan ko ang loob ko na ituloy ang pakikinig sa kaniya, dahil kung hindi ko gagawin iyon ay baka maiyak na rin ako.
"I feel sorry for her. She didn't gave me the chance to say sorry to her and to prove herself that she's innocent. I failed as a friend to protect her. Dapat sinabi ko sa kaniyang naniniwala ako sa kaniya, na alam kong hindi siya ang may gawa no'n. Na kahit may tampuhan silang dalawa ay hindi aabot sa gano'n kalalang sitwasyon. Dapat sinabi ko sa kaniyang may kakampi siya. Pero wala na! She didn't gave me the chance to fo so because she chose to end her life!" She cried out loud.
Hinagod ko ang kaniyang likod para kalmahin siya. "She was found dead around 7 o'clock in the morning. She's already cold as ice. Ang tantiya nila ay madaling araw niya iyon ginawa."
"Care to share?" Napabalik akong muli sa katinuan nang may magsalita sa tabi ko. It was Jisnel ofcourse.
I sighed. "What would you feel if one of your friends dies and you fail something?" I asked. Alam kong ang isasagot nito ay parang sa nararamdaman ni Jen.
"Well, if one of my friends die and I failed to say something, it's hard to say but I will be as depressed as my friend's parents. Why?"
"It's Jessica's friends. Jen and Clarie. They failed to protect Jessica from her perpetrator and they failed to say something important to her." Pagbubukas ko sa topic na matagal kong pinag-isipan kung paano sasabihin sa kaniya.
