different; marter

22

Matt
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When I woke up it was dark and the movie had gone off.

My shirt was raised and Carter's face was pressed against my bare stomach as he slept peacefully.

I smiled to myself and entangled my hands in his soft hair as slight snores escaped his lips. He made a sleepy noise and wrapped his arms completely around my waist.

I extended my arm as far as it would go to reach my phone to check the time.

8:14

I didn't wanna get up but I wasn't tired, I was wide awake.

It was a struggle to escape from Carter's grip but I managed to do so, feeling somewhat accomplished.

The Jacks were both asleep on my couch as I entered the living room.

My mom had left for work already, I was guessing since it was after 5 so in a way I was by myself basically.

I grabbed the black and blue box then heading out to the balcony, hovering over the ledge.

I put the cancer stick between my lips, fishing my white lighter from the box, but this wasn't The Fault In Our Stars.

I lit it and let the minty smoke fill my lungs, holding it in before blowing it out creating a cloud.

I know smoking is bad for you but I'm not all that healthy to start with, so what more damage could I do?

"Are you smoking?" Carter asked, in a groggy voice, startling me. He came over beside me and sat on the edge, now shirtless.

"Yeah, so," I shrugged, putting it between my lips again.

He pulled it out of my mouth and smashed the tip on the wood railing, putting out the light.

"Cigarettes are so nasty, don't smoke." he said, breaking it in half and throwing it in the ashtray beside him.

"You're not the boss of me, stop trying to run my life."I snapped, turning to face him.

"I care about you though."
"Well stop, it's getting annoying."
"You'll thank me one day."
"I don't think I'm gonna thank you years from now for pulling a cigarette out of my mouth and throwing it away."
"You know cigarettes kill you right?"
"So what if I die? I'm not all that crazy over life and I never have been."

He looked hurt.

"Fine then, smoke another." he said, storming back into the house.

Now he's mad at me great.

I grabbed another from the carton and put it in my mouth, repeating the cycle.

Carter came out a few seconds later with an unopened pack of menthol 100s. "Where'd you get those?"

"Johnson." he murmured, peeling the plastic off, and opening it, putting one in between his teeth.

He lit it and sucked in deeply, blowing out a huge could of smoke.

He looked hot but why is he doing it? "Carter you just said smoking was nasty, what are you doing?" I hissed.

"I'm killing myself with you." He said puffing on the cigarette again "I want my lungs to fill with tar so I can get lung cancer, and I want the nicotine to rot my teeth and everything else from the inside out; same as you obviously."

It hurt me that I was putting his health in jeopardy, just because he cared about me.

"If your goal was to make me feel bad and stop then it worked, are you happy?" I sassed, putting the unfinished cigarette in the ashtray.

"I already told you, if you do something that's affecting your health I'm gonna do it too." He shrugged.

"So if I kill myself you will too?"
"Yes... b-but why would you want to."
"Life sucks."
"But you're pregnant."
"So?"
"You'd be killing 3 people."
"If you were smart you wouldn't kill yourself over me, I'm not that important."

"But you are to me." he mumbled, barley audible. "Aren't you scared of dying Matt?"

"No."

"Why not?! Dying is a scary-" he was cut off by his phone dinging.

He picked it up and looked at the screen, going wide eyes and turning as pale as a ghost.

"I-I uh gotta go- I love you,, bye." He sputtered, shuffling to get his things. "Wait whats wrong? Where are you going?"

"Nowhere! It's nothing! Really it's no big deal."

"Carter just tell me." I tried, as he sped to the door, me following closely behind.

"I gotta go home to clean my bathroom that's it, I promise." he lied.

I sighed and sat down on the couch.

Dammit Carter what aren't you telling me?

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ay

this was sort of a filler I've been lazy

ily bye