Dallas 1963 -Discontinued(Maybe...)

Chapter 20 ~

"Ooh! The nerve of that man. I mean one thing goes wrong and he's on a warpath. I mean doesn't know who I am? No, no. No, Ray you know exactly who I am. You just can't handle it." Allison ranted while doing klaus's hair.

Vanya was shooting bottles on the table with her finger guns. Which was adorable. "Pew pew pew."

And I was sitting in a styling chair biting my lip and playing with my fingers.

"I'm protecting him." Allison defended. "Ow From what?" Klaus and I asked.

"Then end of the world for one." Allison said and I gave her a weird look. "Is the world really gonna end in six days?" Vanya asked doubtfully.

"We'll it did last time and we did everything five could think of to stop it." Allison answered.

"Hey, wouldn't it be weird if five grew up to be all hot?" Klaus asked getting up. We all have him weird looks. "We'll I'm sure y/n already thinks so but ya know?" Klaus asked giving me a smirk.

"I heard a rumour you slapped yourself." I said. His eyes turned ghostly white as he slapped himself. "Ow" he said giving me a look. I smiled.

"Ew" Allison said. "Oh, ew! Eww! Please, mrs. 'Luther was my lover.'" Klaus said making kissing noises.

"We have never even kissed." Allison defended clearly annoyed.

"Yeah but you guys were making little sick moon dog eyes at each other all through puberty and breakfast and all that." Klaus told her.

"Aren't we all brothers and sisters or?" Vanya asked.

Klaus snorted. " well technically it—" Allison started. " 'technically' if you have to use the word 'technically,' you're already in trouble." Klaus said laughing.

"Wait but aren't y/n and five dating or whatever?" Vanya asked looking at me. "I wouldn't call it dating." I said shifting Uncomfortably in my chair. "Then what would you call it hm?" Klaus asked me.

"I don't know. It's been weird I mean I was here for a year and five all of a sudden showed up. It's been a while for me and for him it's been less than 24 hours." I admitted.

"Ok can we focus, I mean, clearly we're not saving the world tonight, but maybe, maybe. We could at least try to save my marriage." Allison interrupted.

"No! No! Because that's like.... That's like asking a nun how to hump someone's leg." Klaus said drinking. Me and Allison gave him a weird look.

" I mean, who in this room knows shit about relationships? This one?" He asked pointing to Vanya.

"In secret love with some farm frau." Klaus started.

"Her names sissy." Vanya defended.

"Which is an improvement on her previous love interest." Klaus continued. Me and Allison gave him a warning look. Vanya wasn't ready to know about Leonard.

"The serial killer." Klaus said ignoring Allison and I. He earned a "what?" From Vanya but continued on.

"Y/n who is in love with our psychotic little 58 year old brother. Meanwhile I'm carrying a torch for a soldier I haven't technically met yet, and Luther is in love with his sister." Klaus finished.

"Ok, again we are not biological." Allison defended.

"Doesn't make it any less awkward." Y/n mumbled while taking a swig of her drink.

"What?" Allison asked. "Nothin." She replied casually.

" face it the healthiest long term relationship in this family was when five was banging that mannequin. The only thing the umbrella academy knows about love. Is how to screw it up." Klaus said.

"Whatever. I'm leaving. I'm gonna go see if five needs my help." Y/n said getting up.

"You go do that. Use protection!" Klaus called after her. She walked out the door and flipped him off without looking back.