Between You and I

Chapter Four

July 21, 2008: Four Years Before

I felt empty inside, just like I did every day. The streets were empty since no one usually dropped by this part of town anymore: just how I liked it. Actually, it's why I loved this place. It's forgotten. Just. Like. Me.

Didn't all those memories mean anything to her!? Was I the only one feeling all those things? Like calling when I have nothing to really talk about, breaking the rules when I didn't have to, doing the things I couldn't have done alone, and... Smiling for no reason besides that one person?

Well. Apparently, yes. Fuck yes. God! I feel like an idiot! Kicking an invisible ball, I imagined that it's all my Valentine related thoughts, and that it's flying far, far, far away from here as I plopped down onto my butt. I didn't have to need her. I really didn't.

"Dan?" That voice. I knew that voice. Better than anything else in the world.

"Daniel Ridgewell?" The pair of footsteps crunched on the gravel sped up in my direction. Dammit. Just my luck. I turned around, and I saw her. That problem causing, life screwing, emotional wrecking girl that I've been trying to forget for the past few months.

"Hey, Valentine..." And she was smiling, too. Her long brown curly hair was tumbling down her shoulders over her soft blue- green tee. Half of me went, "Wow... She still looks the same goddamn beautiful way..." While the other went, "Bitch alert."

"Hey!" She flashed me her million watt smile as she sat down, and unleashed all the killer bees that I thought had died a while back.

"What are you doing here? People don't usually come here." She started. I felt her eyes on my face, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her.

"Well, yeah. That's kind of the point." She laughed that small laugh I missed so much, which made the corner of my mouth tug up. Then the both of us fell silent, and I couldn't resist it anymore. I looked at her, and she looked at me. She's so... Amazing. She's all these things in the world that would make anyone so freaking happy. The kind of happy that's always there, but she's tearing me apart. Her grin widened.

"There it is." It was nothing but a whisper.

"What's there?" I whispered back.

"Your smile. The one you have no reason for." I couldn't feel my lips form a smile, but if she said it was there, it must have been.

"How do you know that I have no reason for it?" Another small laugh escaped her.

"I just do." It was quiet again, but it wasn't awkward. It just felt sad. Sad because I didn't know if I could talk to her about the same things I did before. If I could tell the stories I knew she would have loved when we were still close. But after awhile, I felt her eyes staring at me again, so I met her gaze. She opened her mouth, but closed it again the way she always does when she's trying to think of what to say.

"I need to do this, okay?" She whispered, scooting a little closer to me.

"Um..." The killer bees became worse as I leaned in toward her, our noses touching. Is she going to do it? Is she going to kiss me?

"I know you hate me right now..." I could tell she still couldn't find the right words. However, I didn't want her to talk. I just wanted to kiss her. I missed her. I just wanted to feel like she still... Remembered. Loved.

"But this is something I need to do because-" So I went for it. I kissed her, and she kissed back. It was like everything was set right in my life. Everything was perfect and I was on top of the world because she loved me and I loved her because you don't kiss people you don't love. That's not what it's for. When she pulled away, her eyes were filled with tears, and one streaked down her cheek.

"Val, what's wrong?" What did I do? Did I kiss her in the wrong way? Did I say something?

"It... It's not you... I- I... I just have to go." And she got up and left. Just like that. She tore my heart into pieces all over again.