Between You and I

Chapter Twenty- Four

May 13, 2012: 8 Hours After

A loud siren pierces my ears and shakes me up out of bed. Drowsiness hangs around my eyes as I rub them and make my way to the window, the same blaring siren ringing around my head and bouncing off my walls. 

"What the hell..." A police car is one thing around here (some teenagers can't help but do stupid things), but an ambulance? The blinding red and blue lights sting my eyes, but I watch it zoom down the road anyway, the last bit of my sleep being taken with it. My mind kicks up into high gear as I run to my closet and throw on a shirt and a pair of jeans because someone somewhere has gotten into an accident, and I don't want to miss it. 

Okay, call it a weird fetish because I, personally, have always wanted to see these things happen in real life. You know, the whole bloody- still alive- body being heaved onto a gourney and into an ambulance. Or a dead bloody body being sent to the hospital for inspection. I blame it on all the CSI I've been watching since forever. 

And now, it's happening. My legs run down the stairs and around to the counter to snatch up the car keys. 

"Dan, where you going? You haven't even eaten-" 

"Urgent emergency mom gotta go bye," I cut her off and give her a peck on the forehead before I run out the front door and into the car. Alright, I know it's totally wrong to feel excited, but I can't really help it! I'm finally going to see something go on in this little town besides lawn mowing and stuck up rich kids. 

----------------

I drove as fast as I could and now can follow the direction of the ambulance by hearing the still on going siren. Though now, I'm not quite as excited as I was because... This is the way to Valentine's house.

Yeah, it's probably just a route they're taking, but I don't know. Last night, everything she said... All that talk about missing me... It would line up with this- no what am I talking about!? No! She's alright. This has nothing to do with her. It just so happens that her house is somewhere along the way. 

The siren only gets louder now, meaning that it stopped. It stopped in the area where Valentine lives. 

"Nonononono-" I turn the corner, and there it is. The ambulance, parked right in front of her home. Holy shit-  I stop and get out of the car, not bothering to close the door, and I just run as fast as I can. My heart's thumping against my chest, getting faster and faster the closer I get. A crowd has already formed around the scene, but I don't give a fuck. I tear through it. 

Nonononono, the word is racing around my head, and everything is moving so fast.

"You can't go in there-" A guard begins, but I cut him off, "You don't understand, she's in there! I need to see that she's alright!" I breath, my eyes darting from him to the house, and back again. 

"I'm sorry kid, but I'm afraid I can't let you through..." If he said anything else, I didn't hear because a gurney rolls out of the house, and toward the ambulance. Oh God, please. I'm breathing hard and so fast that it hurts. I shove the guy aside and I break for it, everything else fading away besides the rolling death bed. Tears begin filling up my vision and my lungs ache, but I forget it all when I reach it. Everything. Stops. Cold.

I take my hand, and I pull the sheet down to see who's hiding beneath it... And I take in all of her. Her pale skin, her dark brown curls strewn here and there, and her closed, lifeless eyes.

No. 

Then reality hits me like a train and everything's moving again.

"No..." I breath out, my heart beating a million miles a minute, the tears beginning to stream from my eyes. All of a sudden, cold hands take a hold of me and begin dragging me away from her as she continues to roll toward the ambulance. 

"No!!" The scream is yanked from my lips and I struggle against his hold because Valentine needs me. She needs me, and I can't leave her.  I can't leave her.

"Let me go!!" Every noise that I hear grates against my ears and I can't see because everything is blurred over. I scream her name because I know that she'll answer me. She loves me. She has to answer me! No matter how much I kick, the guy won't let me go and I know he's talking to me, but I can't understand him. I can't understand anything anyone is saying. I can't understand what's happening. 

"Valentine, please!" I sob and yell so hard that my throat feels like it's going to give way. Everything hurts so much and I can't take it because this can't be real. She's not gone. She's not! She's just shitting me and everyone here and I know it. I know it! Black dots begin to dance around my eyes and I realize that I'm not breathing like I should but I don't feel it. I scream again and again, but I can't even hear myself anymore as the ambulance begins to pull away. 

My body falls onto the pavement, but I don't feel the impact. The sunlight blinds me, but it doesn't hurt. Everybody's hearts are intact, while mine has shut down completely. Police men are still trying to get me to stop struggling. I'm not giving up just yet because I still feel my tongue forming words, and my throat still screaming at the top of my lungs. 

But all of it doesn't hurt. It just doesn't. 

Nothing can hurt more than this. 

Nothing can hurt more than seeing the love of your life ripped from you before your very eyes.

Your heart torn right out of your chest and thrown out, leaving you to bleed, already dead.

And it hurts like hell. Like fire against your skin, but you can't move. You're burning, and burning, and burning, until your nerves die and everything goes numb.

You're way beyond repair after that. 

I'm way beyond repair.