jian //drunken mistake

chapter 19

//kian pov//

"Bartender!!! Another one of these... Beer? I don't know. Get me a drink."

I waved my hand at the middle aged man behind the counter, feeling a little woozy from the alcohol. He nodded, disappearing behind the swinging wooden doors. I sighed and closed my eyes.

I've been at some random motel for a few days now.. I've thought of going to visit my parents but I have a feeling they'll be way to pissed at me. They loved jc.. They'll never forgive me for hurting him. Heck, I'll never forgive me for hurting him. He's always been there for me when I'm hurt and now he's hurt and I can't do anytime about it. Because it's my fault.

My thoughts are so hazy right now. I'm not sure where I am or what time it is or how long I've been in this bar.

I've was hanging out with Cameron Dallas a lot that week. We're good buds I guess, but he's pretty homophobic. When jc and I came out, he was a little grossed out. But he tried not to show it. Which I somewhat appreciate.

Cameron and I had a lot of long talks. Cameron's always been a pretty persuasive guy, but he'd never be able to change someone's opinion or feelings. Just help them realize their true feelings. He actually spoke a lot of wisdom. He helped me realize that I am in fact straight. And I don't think jc and I were meant for each other. I like girls. Not jc.

I wiped my tear soaked cheeks with the back of my hand, then took a swig of whatever the alcoholic drink was that I had ordered, I don't remember.

I don't love jc. It was a mistake. We were drunk. I got ahead of myself, I didn't think about it. I like girls, and being gay is gross and wrong. I'm straight.

But why am I so sad?

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The bartender told me It's 9pm. I'm not sure where my phone is so I couldn't check myself. I think he knows there's something wrong because he started giving me drinks on the house.

But there's nothing wrong, I just feel bad for jc. After all, he's still my friend.

I took a sip of my gin and tonic, picking at the chipped wood of the counter at the bar. This place is old and grungey, also in the middle of nowhere. I have a collection of small wood chips in the middle of my napkin now. I sighed and rubbed at my eyes.

"Hi, you've been here for a while. Anything wrong?" I peered up and saw a girl standing next to me. She was wearing a blink 182 tee shirt and a pair of ripped skinny jeans. She was very pretty.

"I just broke up with my.. Girlfriend." I said, smiling slightly. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. She frowned slightly and patted my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, that sucks."

"It's okay, really. It just wasn't working out." She noticed that I didn't look very broken hearted, so she started to twirl her blonde hair around her fingers.

She shamelessly flirted with me for the next 10 minutes, and I flirted back.

"Got any plans for the night?" I cocked by eyebrow at her boldness. I was just about to decline, but this is just what I need. Cameron said I should hook up with someone to forget about jc. This is perfect. And she's hot.

"I do now." I said before grabbing her hand and dragging her to to my room. She giggled as I struggled with my key, then she shoved me into the room and onto the bed. She straddled my waist and ripped off my shirt and hat seductively. I closed my eyes as she left sloppy kisses down my bare chest, leaving red lipstick marks.

She stopped momentarily, giving me enough time to pull her tee shirt over her head, revealing her black lace bra.

She started trailing kisses down until she reached my waistband. It wasn't until she started to unbuckle my pants when I realized I haven't been with a girl since Andrea. I decided to let this girl take over, feeling the need to be pleasured instead of doing the pleasuring.

I missed the feeling of being with a girl. It's been a while, but this is exactly what I need right now. Collecting my thoughts might be simpler than I thought.

I'm definitely straight. I can't believe I went so long without a woman. At this point I don't care that jc is hurting, that my friends are pissed, my parents are confused, my subscribers and worried, or that Cameron Dallas may have altered my perspective.

She was smoking hot. And I'm single. Jc never crossed my mind again for the rest of the night.

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Aye folkssssssss!¡ so I just arrived home from the Bahamas. My vacation was SOO awesome and I had an amazing time. I saw a lot of really hot guys and I talked to some and one of them hugged me assodkeldkksowisk. so now my standards are forever high, meaning I will never get a boyfriend cuz there's no cute guys where I live HOORAY.

If you're still reading this You get a free pizza and THX FOR 20K I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW OMF I LOVE ALL OF YOU INDIVIDUALLY XOXOXOX