jian //drunken mistake

chapter 20

It's been 9 days.

He watched the rain drops trickle down his window as he wrapped himself in kians old blanket. He dreamt of him again last night, only to wake up cold and alone. He watches tv to take his mind off he ache in his heart.

Connor brings him left overs and talks to him every day from 3-5. Sam tells him it'll get better. Trevor makes jokes and tries to lighten the mood. Ricky takes him out for drives to get him out of the house. Jc is lucky to have them; without them he'd have no motivation to get out of bed.

He fills his days with cleaning and cooking and anything at all to keep him busy. Anything to keep him from thinking. Anything to avoid getting lost in his mind. Thinking of kian. Jc is trying really hard, and the boys are just taking this day by day. It hurts them too.

Kian is their friend and he's just gone. Nobody knows when he'll return. But it hurts them more to see the pain I'm Jc's eyes. He doesn't think they can see past his fake smiles and laughter, but oh boy they can.

But they don't know how much jc really is hurting. They think he's slowly getting better and getting over kian. Jc will never be over kian. And that angers him.

He's so whipped. He'd been shot in the heart, but would gladly take another bullet for kian. But it's truly sad when the one you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.

At the end of the day, jc says to himself that everything will be okay. But when he's alone with no distractions, he has nothing but his thoughts. And they haunt him at all hours of the night. He feels pathetic for still loving kian. He hates himself for it. It's hard to stay strong when you don't have a reason to. His reason is off in another motel screwing another random chick. His reason doesn't even care.

Kian is off having the time of his life. He's hooked up with 5 different girls so far, and he won't be stopping anytime soon. He doesn't think of jc. He thinks he's over jc. He thinks jc is over him too. He's wrong.

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Short af I know I know but hey DOUBLE UPDATE CAN I GET A HELL YEAH???!