VENUS《 FINNICK ODAIR

Chapter 20. WARMTH.

T/W: Breif mentions of suicide and violence.

THE SNOW CRUNCHED BENEATH HER POLISHED BOOTS, THE WORN LEATHER BRACING AGAINST THE ABRASIVE CARESS OF POWDERED ICE. It was always cold this time of year, relentless, unforgiving; it stung like an old bruise. But with it came the opportunity for warmth: cosy fires, warm sugary tea, hot curry and buttered bread. But Edith couldn't seem to find anything sweet about this storm; no warm fire to coax her into senseless dream of hot cocoa and solstice markets, no, all autumn and winter brought over these past five months was a wave of depression and nightmares that made her flinch at the faintest glimpse of a fire, the sight of a trident or the the thought of a large sloshing body of water.

      The graveyard by the lavender feilds was usually empty, especially in winter. Even at solstice time, most families wouldn't dare the journey in this type of weather, and even if they did - most wouldn't have a reason to, families in 8 didn't have the type of money to pay for a stone to commemorate a lost Tribute, but Edith made sure he had one.

     That was something she felt as if she couldn't live without doing.

    Immediately she tried to contact her late Tribute partner's family after the Games, all she was left from the endeavour was a crumpled letter reply from a step aunt who seemed to enjoy the extra money left behind in his wake and not so much the box of a dead boy in her backyard. Edith payed for the stone in the end. And she payed for it to reside as far as she could away from Cade's old home that she seemed to have the impression wasn't as welcoming as she thought.

     It broke her heart. But she carried on, she had to.

    Edith wandered, admiring the large stone statues of angels and baby cherubs - all dusted in a thin coat of snow like icing sugar: she was clearly procrastinating, but that can be ignored.

     Her heart ached. Ached for a hug from a strawberry haired friend, for a witty comment from a bleached braided girl, a giggle from a short, frizzy girl from 12. Maybe that's why she decided to come to his grave before she left for her Victory Tour, it was certainly the first time she had acted upon the urge to visit him since they lowered his body in the grave.

   It was pathetic.

   Edith rounded the corner, stopping at a polished, granite headstone. Cade Coran. She dropped her bag to the ground, sitting next to the soil bed. Out of her bag, she lifted out a small shovel and the plant. Forming a small hole in the soil bed she lowered the forget me nots in; patting down the soil to cover its roots. Stepping back, Edith marvelled at her creation. Hopefully the snow wouldn't kill it immediately - although, she got it from the markets from a merchant selling Capitol engineered dye flowers from over the Wall meant to survive anything.

   The notion was bitter-sweet. She hoped he liked them. And that he now accepted that part of him he seemed to hide from so desperately.

    "I cant hide from you forever, can I?"

     The air was still.

     "Right, you're not here."

    Edith fiddled with her fingers, biting hard on her lip where an ulcer had already formed.

      "Well, I'm sorry I haven't visited since the first time. I'll talk to you this time, I promise."

      Edith stared down at the flowers, in some hope that all her answers will appear in the crudely pruned flower bed. Maybe a sign in the soil.

     "I guess I was scared. I spent so much of these months running from my Games, I didn't want any more proof to back my survivors guilt. Maybe that's selfish."