VENUS《 FINNICK ODAIR

Chapter 42. RUINATION.

TW: Features triggering themes.

HER HANDS WERE FILLED WITH FLOWERS, YET SOMEHOW THEY FELT EMPTY ENOUGH TO FEEL THE ABSENCE OF A HAND TO HOLD.

"Im sorry I never found out what flowers were your favourites, but I hope these will suffice, they are from the dye farms," Edith muttered to herself, the basket handle rubbing against a scabbing cut on her palm. Goosebumps danced across her skin in a bittersweet kiss.

She bit the bullet and grasped the first flower blossom from it's pot; daisies for Quinton. Then it was hyacinths for Arizona. Tulips for Bobbin. And carnations for Leisa. Flowers that matched the good she saw in her past Tributes. If only.

Edith was grateful she waited for August to come a little closer, for Spring to reach close enough to plant the damn things with some hope for a future - well, not that green wasn't already a rarity in a grey world.

Thank the stars for Capitol flower engineering I guess. And for taking the long way home.

"You got yellow ones, sorry if it clashes with the bush but they made me think of you," she acknowledged the grave once she managed her way up the path. She buried the bottom of the yellow tansy root next to the slightly snow touched bush of forget me nots on Cade's grave.

"And Peonies for you Vienna, your favourite," Edith choked up, her jaw clenched.

She felt raw, empty. Even with the colourful display. It just stung a little to know it was such a futile effort when there was nothing she could do to save them.

With her head in her hands, she sat down awkwardly. Edith dug her hands into her eyes, they would've gone in until the tears retreated but wind swept her idiotic plans away.

"Yeah I know, dont hurt myself, I know. I feel like that's all I've been saying these days - turns out saying I know things doesn't equate over. But that's okay, I have a plan Vienna. I really do this time."

Another spin of wind struck her.

"I hope that's not sarcasm Cade Coran, although maybe I deserve that. Did you not like the tansys?"

The silence was defeaning.

Edith slid her bare hands across the cracked cobbles, her brain fuzzy.

"Im hopeless," she sniffled with a smile, "What am I even doing? I cant do this."

Edith sat up, prepared to leave before another gust of wind rendered her still.

"I feel so guilty. Do you want to know why? I should feel happy right now, he feels the same as I do. He actually does. And here I am doubting whether I have the guts to actually do something about it. I'm not stupid, and I do want change and I have been given a chance to maybe get some information. I dont know what I'm going to do but I... I want to make a world worth living for our family Vi, and... and for Finnick," Edith said meekly, desperate from pity of the dead.

She sighed, kicking away pebbles to find a nicer spot on the cobbles to sit.

"You'd like him, Finnick. You'd like Jo too. Im sad you won't ever get to meet them."

Edith turned her head to the sky, watching grey swirl above in a cloudy whirl. It made her think.

"I'll... um, let me fill you in on what happened since I got home, hopefully you're listening and this isn't my insanity talking."

Once again silence spoke the words for her. But she didn't care, she was lonely.

And if they weren't listening, hopefully the stars were.