Madness oneshots and hcs (requests open)

Phobos headcanons

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-The dumbest mf around
-Like he's surrounded by the smartest people in the planet and he can't figure out what 2 + 2 is lmao dumbass
-Omnisexual
-Has beheaded people who didn't call him "god emperor" or "Director Phobos"
-Tried to get in a relationship with Doc, purely for his own benefit, but it didn't work so he has a foul hatred of Doc
-He's the source of Doc's master manipulating skills, because he tried to manipulate Doc into a relationship/made him do things he didn't want to do
-Loves publicly humiliating people, remember when Gordon Ramsey put two slices of bread on either side of a contestant's head and made her call herself and idiot sandwich? Yeah, Phobos did that to Hofnarr
-Addicted to reality TV/soap operas