Beat the devil's tattoo

Chapter XIX. "Black dog"

 Black dog

Marla was standing outside the wards guarding Malfoy's manor. The wind around her was swirling but she stood still, as if it didn't touch her.

She felt like a longing, a painful longing to go to Voldemort and find the piece he had stole from her. She stood here, in plain sight, battling with herself.

What was she doing? Voldemort for fuck's sake, he was a monster. But what if he could help her? Maybe he could take some of her pain and worry, she could just let herself go. Of course he wouldn't help her! He would use her power to kill! But maybe he would take way her pain, the weight of her powers, he could take away the burden on her shoulders. He would take away her free will! Take away what made her herself. She was Marla Blackbird, Merlin's heir! She was better than her parents. She couldn't let herself fall to this side.

Meanwhile, Sirius was going crazy. Where was she? He looked in every room of the house, desperate to find a clue about her whereabouts. He finally stumbled on a journal, he had see Marla write in it since the ministry. She had told him it helped her think straight and calm panics attacks. He eagerly reach for it, reading through the words, feeling the pit in his stomach at the obsession she seemed to have developed with Voldemort. It was messy, as if two person had wrote in it, fighting against each other but it was only her, fighting with herself. He saw her mention Malfoy manor, it was apparently the Dark Lord hideout for now. His heart was beating erratically, did she really went there?

He had to find out, without wasting anytime Sirius ran outside the house, apparating as soon as he could.

He arrived on the outskirts of the manor and he could decipher a lone figure standing with her back to him. She was not moving but she was shaking her head and muttering to herself.

"Marla?" He asked cautiously. She wiped around, her eyes wide.

"Sirius? What are you doing here? They could see you!"

"Yeah, they could see you too, maybe we should both go?"

"I can't, I- I don't know what's happening to me!"

"I know love, I know, but we should talk about it alright? Tell me why you are here?" He said, walking cautiously toward her.

"Don't get close to me!" She cried taking a step back, "I can't control myself, I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me Marla. I know you."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you're you. You're a good person, you fight for what's good and you know deep down you don't want to hurt me."

He was only a few feet from her now and he could see that she was shaking.

"Why are you here Marla?"

"Because! Because he took something from me! I don't know what it is but I feel so empty, I don't feel anything! He can give it back to me!"

"I don't think he would. Marla that's probably the spell, it was a dark spell. It went into your mind, he wants you. He said so but since you wouldn't go willingly, it seems that he found another way. Marla, you've got to fight this, you're stronger than this."

"But maybe he could help me, he could take away the burden, the powers, everything. I don't want it!"

"He wouldn't help you Marla, you'd be his prisoner! He only wants your powers, I want you, Marla. I love you, please come back to me."

It seems that his words were getting to her because she fell on her knees, crying. Sirius knelt in front of her.

"I don't know what's wrong with me! I don't want this, I just want it to end!"