I miss you, Di

15

winter 1989.

as diana began to gain control over the bulimia, her strength returned as well as her courage. she'd planned a confrontation with camilla. the two of us sat at camilla's sisters party, of which charles didn't want us to attend to but we did anyway. "just do it, di," i smiled. "will you come with me," she asked. "of course," i nodded. it was clear that charles wasn't happy with the two of us coming, but, diana had a hidden agenda here. "okay boys i'm going to go and have a word with camilla and i'll be up in a minute," Diana told william and harry. we could feel upstairs, all hell breaking lose. diana was terrified of her.

"i just want you to know that i know what's going on between you and charles," diana explained to camilla. camilla's eyes instantly widened and i sat there with a smirk. i felt like we were two bullies. but, she deserved it. "you've got everything you ever wanted. you've got all the men in the world to fall in love with you and you have two beautiful children. what more do you want," camilla asked. "i want my husband. i'm so sorry i'm in the way and it must be hell for both of you. but i do know what's going on, don't treat me like an idiot," diana shook her head. "you don't sleep with a married man. the disrespect from you is horrendous," i spat. "who on earth do you think you are to speak to me like that," camilla asked. "someone who doesn't go for married men," i shrugged.

we got back into the car as we drove back and charles was over diana like a bad rash. diana burst into tears as i held her close to me. "you're a sick man, you think you're better than everyone else because you were born into an inbred family who cares for nothing but heirs. i hope to god that these two poor children don't end up like their father for your sake, you dish it out and you can't take it, your karma will come for you charles. you robbed from the cradle and cheat on your wife and then get angry when people love her more than anyone has ever loved you, i'm tired of biting my tongue," i spat as i walked into my house.

the next morning diana was explaining to me how she'd felt a shift, a tremendous shift. she had done something, said how she felt. there was still the odd jealousy and anger swirling around. but, it wasn't so deathly as it had been before ... and that was it really. it was a big step for her. there was a sense of a different princess in the sense that she'd almost triumphed over something that hither to had been a huge problem for many many years and there was no doubt in my mind that this really signified that the ending of the marriage was near.

as the marriage spiralled down the palace tried to convince the public that the couple were still devoted. but, the effort failed. a case and point, a trip to the taj mahal. charles had visited when he was single and told everyone he'd return to the woman he loved. but, instead of going with his wife which he claimed he loved, he went off to a business meeting instead, leaving my best friend to pose alone. she was sad. it was a sad photograph she had sent me in the post. i was beginning to see more and more of these photographs.

she acted as if she was fine but she clearly wasn't. "i feel more trapped in my marriage than ever and more alienated from that family," she explained over the phone. "i think i'm going to cut a different path from everybody else. i'm going to break away from this set-up," she continued.