You Can't Lose Me || Shinso x Reader

Chapter 17: Bargaining

Warnings: hospital setting, regret, 

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Midoriya's POV

The next day, I visit the hospital to check on Shinso's condition because they haven't told me anything – for some reason. At the front desk, the man there gives directions and Shinso's room number, still in the ICU. When I arrive, Shinso no longer has a ventilator, though it was replaced with a tube running over his nose – air flow to assist him, but not breathing for him. His hair is more of a mess, and he looks more tired than he usually does, but he's okay. Thank All Might, he's okay. 

"Hitoshi?" I say aloud, wondering if he's awake or not, but he does open his faded purple eyes to gaze at me.

"Wow," he starts, struggling to speak, but succeeding, "when was the last time you called me that, Izuku?" 

I smile. He's going to be just fine.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" I say almost like an apology before sitting on one of the chair's next to his bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Do you mean physically, emotionally, spiritually? C'mon, Izuku, you need to be more specific than that." 

One side of his mouth weakly turns up.

"Let's start with physically." I chuckle – his relaxed attitude is infecting me.

"Well, they gave me some kind of pain medication, so I'm mostly numb. Aside from that, my neck and back are really sore, and my stomach feels weird, but that's it for the moment. The past 24 hours have been one hell of a ride; what happened anyways?" 

His head turns so that his ear rests on the pillow and he can look at me without straining his eyes.

"You collapsed in the conference room and your body was shaking like crazy. I didn't know what was happening, so I carried you here." 

His brows crease for a moment before he deadpans and rolls his eyes.

"Took me a second to remember that we have quirks," he mutters.

"The police searched the station; they didn't find anyone, but apparently whoever it was made tea from hemlock leaves. The alka ... alka-something ...? Whatever, the stuff is a paralytic. It made you stop breathing, and almost scared the life out of me."

"So, I had a Socrates moment? Great." 

I respond with a look of confusion. 

"Socrates, as in the Greek philosopher?" He adds. 

"I know who Socrates is," I defend, "but what does he have to do with this?"

"Well, long story short, he was sentenced to death and was forced to drink a hemlock mixture. ... Don't give me that look. I love questioning life; of course, I would love philosophy." Shinso scoffs, though not with contempt.

"Moving on. How are you feeling emotionally?"

"Admittedly, I'm still terrified. I almost died; why wouldn't I be? But then there's the issue with (y/n). I'm still processing the fact that not only is she alive, but she's become a villain – the one thing everyone told us we were. The one thing we never wanted to be. It just hurts, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. The actions that hurt you the most come from people who already have your heart in their hands." 

Shinso turns his head to stare at the ceiling.

"I loved her, Izuku. We were only in middle school, but we had already taken on the worst the world had to offer. She meant everything to me. And when she died – or went missing since she isn't actually dead – my heart died with her. I was so distraught that I couldn't bring myself to go to her funeral. I couldn't face what felt like my mistake.