You Can't Lose Me || Shinso x Reader

Chapter 28 (Final): Do You Still Hate Me?

Warnings: none, 

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Shinso's POV

It might be from the exhaustion of the past few weeks, or the stress of being around (y/n) again, but I manage to sleep for a full nine hours, waking up around seven o'clock in the morning. With my newly earned two cents of energy, I head down to the kitchen to fix a basic breakfast of eggs, toast, and bacon. The food is then split evenly onto two plates which I carry back upstairs to (y/n)'s room.

I pause at the door for a moment, a little anxiety stirring in my gut, but I muster enough courage to walk inside before realizing that I can't open the door with two plates in my hands. A smile creeps onto my face for a second as I place one of the plates on the ground, unlock and open the door, and poke my head into the room.

(y/n) sits in a rocking chair that faces a wide window, fiddling with something I can't quite see; I decide to put her plate down on the small table beside her. Though she doesn't move much, I lean against the wall and take a few bites from my own plate.

"Take a few bites at least. You need to eat something." I say before taking a bite of my buttered toast.

"Do you still hate me?"

I almost choke. Do I hate her? Where did that come from? I forcefully swallow my food before trying to respond.

"I never hated you. Why would you- oh." I curse myself for being forgetful. "I'm sorry that things got a little heated last time we talked, and for storming out on a sour note, but I never hated you. I swear. The whole situation was frustrating and confusing, and I was angry with myself. I'm just upset about how things turned out."

"That's my fault, I'm sor-... mmm." She pauses in the middle of her apology, forcefully pressing her lips together for a moment. "Words are unable to craft an apology worthy of forgiveness, but I feel guilty for what I've done to you, and for breaking everything around me. Though, I did do something to help fix it, even just a little. I'm sure they already told you what I did, right?"

I nod, not wanting to interrupt what she's trying to say.

"Now, I'm just how I was in middle school, when we were still ... . I'm completely helpless, and I'm hated by everyone – except, maybe you."

She gazes down to the item in her hand. When she opens them up to let me see it, my heart almost stops at the sight.

"This is the only thing that they let me keep. I'm not sure if you remember, but this is the picture we took in-."

"We took in the park on the last day we saw each other." I finish her sentence for her.

The photograph is slightly faded, and old tape covers a rip that splits down the middle, separating the two of us. A hint of a smile appears in her expression.

"That's nice to know: you remembered something so simple – and yet it was powerful to me. You can compare the me from back then to me now. We're both a useless wreck that can't get you off their mind, just the way you liked it. So, Hitoshi," she starts, tilting her head back up to look me in the eyes for the first time since I entered the room.

"Do you like me again?"

(y/n)'s eyebrows crease and her eyes are glossy from restrained tears. My heart falls at her words. I understand now, though. She knew I didn't approve of what she became, so she changed everything she could back to the way things were when we were kids. She didn't fight back when her cellmates attacked her, and she asked for her quirk to be taken away, all because she thinks I like her better when she's "useless". 

I must have taken too long to think because her faces falls and her eyes return to the floor. 

"Saying yes would imply that I stopped liking you," I begin, thinking through my words. "I didn't like you back then because you 'thought' you were useless – which isn't true anyways. I liked you – well, if I'm going to be honest about this – I ... loved you because you were my happy place. 

"Being with you as we grew up, experiencing life's many hardships together, made me more confident in my own worth. I felt like I finally had a purpose, a reason to keep trying; that purpose was making you feel as happy, as wanted, and as seen as you made me. Having you in my life, I developed a confidence to take on any opposition without fearing the failure that might result."

(y/n) doesn't move her lowered gaze, so I set my leftover breakfast on the windowsill and crouch down, hoping to catch her eye with mine. 

I continue, "And you looked up to me. You saw something in me that I didn't believe was there, enough so that I learned to open my eyes and see it myself. I may have been protecting you from physical dangers back then, but you were the one who saved me. The world was against you and against me, but we were alone together. All I had was you, and I could never have asked for anything more.

"Even now, though your actions were misguided, you were still doing it for me. Every time we fought on opposite ends, you refused to hurt me – yes, I noticed that. Hell, you saved my life. You gave up your victory, and your partner, to protect me from harm.

"You cared so much for me, and evidently you still do. And I feel the same."

I reach into an inner pocket of the jacket I've been wearing since yesterday and pull out my copy of the photograph. It's faded and creased in places, but it still causes the tears in (y/n)'s eyes to slip down her cheeks.

"I have never stopped loving you. It hurt most of the time, since you were dead, but you had permanent residence in my heart. Didn't I promise that regardless of who you became, I would still care about you? That you couldn't lose me?"

"You did. I remember that." She says despite her trembling lips and shaky breaths.

"I intend to keep that promise."

"Am I allowed to hug you?"

"Why would you ever need to ask?"

With that, I stand and (y/n) jumps out of her chair, wrapping her arms tightly around me and gripping the back of my jacket. She sobs uncontrollably into my chest, though she doesn't do so alone for very long. My own tears cascade from my eyes as I bury my face into her neck. I don't know how long we spend holding each other, but even after our cries resolve into sniffles, we refuse to let go of each other's warmth. 

"Hitoshi?" (y/n) mumbles into my damp shirt.

"Yeah?" I answer, pulling back ever so slightly to rest my chin on her head and allow her words to be more audible. I can feel her smiling as she lets out a small breathy laugh.

"Is... breakfast still an option?" 

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A/N: And that's it. That's how I'm ending this. Finally, after ten long years, their relationship issues are resolved (enough). 

I hope reading this book was an enjoyable experience for you. Thanks for being here!

Word Count: 1264