You Can't Lose Me || Shinso x Reader

Chapter 27: A Quiet Transition

Warnings: none, 

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Shinso's POV

(y/n) walks through the front gate, now separating from her accompanying prison guard and in clothing that doesn't fit her correctly. A dark grey hooded sweatshirt with sleeves that fall over her fingertips, a pair of jeans with some paint splatters that stop just above her ankles, and a pair of worn sneakers that slide up and down her feet as she walks. She gives a small wave to her guard before turning to look at me and stiffening. Her eyes widen slightly and her lips part; she must not have been told who would be keeping an eye on her.

Offering her a helmet, I put my own back on and start the engine in my motorcycle. (y/n) holds the helmet in her shaky hands, staring into the visor before pulling back her hood and fitting the helmet over her head. With a click of the buckle, she swings her leg over the passenger seat behind me. I turn my head slightly, raising the visor to look at her again.

"If you want to hold onto me, it's okay," I mumble loud enough for her to hear. 

After a moment of hesitation, she wraps her arms around my waist and clings to me like her life depends on it. With that, we ride off as the sun falls below the horizon.

As I was instructed, I take multiple detours effectively adding half an hour to our ride, but I'm not complaining. Compared to driving in a fully enclosed vehicle, riding my bike is freeing, and it helps me to let go of my pessimistic thoughts for a while; and the experience of having (y/n) hold onto me while we ride is ... nostalgic.

When we arrive to the address, I park my bike in the driveway – I don't have the clicker to open the garage yet. Even after I cut the engine, (y/n) holds onto me for another few moments before releasing me, leaving an invisible impression wrapping around me that turns cold. Pushing down the kickstand and dismounting, I accompany (y/n) through an unlocked front door into an empty house. I find the garage clicker on the table beside the door and put away my bike properly before returning.

The main hallway opens into a living room with the kitchen attached on the other end. Rather than relaxing on the couch or one of the chairs, (y/n) and I both stand unspeaking as we take in what will be our surroundings for the foreseeable future. Eventually though, the awkward silence twists my stomach enough to try to say something.

"Did you eat before we left?" I ask, wishing I could have found something better to say. 

She only nods in response.

"It's already dark outside. Would you rather just go to sleep?" 

Another nod.

We navigate through the house until we find the bedrooms upstairs; a tag with (y/n)'s name typed on it hangs from one of the doorknobs. An audible sigh escapes her. She mumbles a small 'goodnight' before disappearing behind the closed door.

"Goodnight," I copy her words, unsure of whether she could hear me behind the door or not.

My gaze traces the doorframe where I notice a lock and a bolt on my side of the door. I frown at the implications. Though I understand why it's there and the decisions (y/n) made that obligated whomever to install them, I hate seeing her be locked up like a monster, but I don't have a say in whether she needs it or not. My eyes burn slightly as I hesitantly seal the door for the night.

I want to be angry at her; I want to be angry at the Board, the Commission, the world; I want to be able to stop myself from trying to erase the crimes she committed from my memory; I want to go back in time and fix everything. And I want to have my best friend back, to have the person I loved back. I don't know how she's changed, nor why, but I want to.

Everything is such a mess, both the situation and my mind. My brain hurts from thinking about it all. I drag myself across the hall to the only other bedroom in the house and collapse onto the bed, completely disregarding my clothes, my shoes, and any alarm I might have needed to set. 

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A/N: I don't have much to say today. Writing the relationship in such a sticky spot just churns my insides. That's likely why this chapter's so short. 

Word Count: 764