Narrator: (Ben) The next morning, everyone in the castle begins to stir.
Macduff: (Michigan) Ope it sure is a nice bright, non-murdering morning.
Lennox: (Nevada) That's oddly specific but okay.
M****: (Cali) Good morning I am innocent!
Macduff: What
M****: Nothing! I said nothing! How about some pancakes for breakfast?
Macduff: First I need to wake the king.
M****: Wha? Nah let's let him sleep! He's always grumpy when he first wakes up!
Macduff: Ope it's my job dontcha know? Unless Ohio is pulling a trick on me.
M****: He is.
Macduff: Nah, nah he probably paid you to say that. (leaves)
Lennox: What is wrong with you, you're more on edge then normal.
M****: Uh, uh we shouldn't call them homeless people, they're unhomed people!
Lennox: There it is.
Macduff: (technical glitch) (technical glitch) DUNCAN'S DEAD.
Lennox: WHAT?
M****: Whaaaaaaaaaa?
Macduff: We need to wake everyone!
M****: C'mon Michigan we don't need to wake everyone up!
Lady M****: Too late.
M****: Duncan is dead!
Lady M****: How horrible.
M****: C'mon guys, he was a lousy king anyway. He used to take all the cookies! OUCH!
Lady M****: (glare)
Macduff: Texas, Duncan's been murdered!
Banquo: (Texas) YA SEE! It was those damn democrats!
Lennox: How is that relevant right now?
Banquo: It's always relevant!
Donalbain: (Florida) Is there chaos out here and no one woke me?
Macduff: Ope, Duncan is dead!
Malcolm: (District) SWEET I can be a state now!
(Beat)
M****: We should've framed him...OUCH!
Macduff: It seems like the guards did it, got drunk, and then fell asleep.
Donalbain: Whoa, whoa you really think they did it while drunk? I do a lot of things when I'm drunk but I don't murder.
Lady M****: We must find whoever murdered him!
Lennox: Yeah a witch hunt!
M****: C'mon guys I made waffles!
Banquo: Right, I'll take the south side of the castle, you take the north. We'll find these democrats!
M****: None of this was worth it.
Narrator: Everyone splits up and goes searching for the murderers, leaving Malcolm and Donalbain.
Malcolm: You know what this means right?
Donalbain: Yes but, just in case you tell me.
Malcolm: M**** killed Duncan and we could be next.
Donalbain: (chaos laugh) I'd like to see him try.
Malcolm: We have to gather armies and come back to defeat M****. You go to Ireland, I'll go to England.
Donalbain: WHOA, WHOA. Won't that make us suspects? Running from the scene of the crime?
Malcolm: You act like you haven't done this before.
Donalbain: You're right. And I get the land of alcohol so I get to be hammered! See you suckers! (leave)
Malcolm: I fully regret this.
