Wilt and Ruin

Chapter Fourteen - Realize (Runn)

A strange song played from somewhere in the distance. Something heavy laid on me and it took me a while to remember what had happened.

King had a panic attack.

I called him P and he would punish me later.

I trembled and opened my eyes. His breath was hot and tantalizing against my face and neck and his hand was holding the front of my shirt in a tight fist.

Turning my head, I pressed a lingering kiss to his forehead. It was something I wouldn't have done if he was awake, but I just couldn't have helped myself. I barely breathed while holding him. Any little movement could wake him, and I had a feeling he hadn't slept in a while—or if he had slept, it wasn't any worthwhile rest.

Gently, I pushed some hair form his forehead—this time when I kissed his forehead, my lips rested directly on the warm skin.

I didn't go back to sleep. Even as the room grew darker and darker, I remained where I was, holding onto him. Each time nightmares came, I caressed his cheek and kissed his forehead. He'd settle down again, breathing evenly, and gripping the front of my shirt.

It took some time before he moaned and opened his eyes. The first thing he did was reach up to caress my cheek and tried sitting up. I released him and he turned on the bedside lamp. I wasn't sure, but he seemed embarrassed when he scrambled off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom attached to his room.

I waited until he returned before I did the same.

"I'm sorry." Was the first thing he said when I entered the room again. "I didn't mean to—well, all of that."

"It's a panic attack, King." I sat on the side of the bed and looked at him. "I'm not sure why you're sorry. And you don't have to worry—I won't tell anyone about it. It's not my secret to tell."

"I wasn't worried about that."

"No?" Runn asked. "Then why was the first thing out of your mouth an apology for what happened?"

King hung his head.

Seeing that, I reached over and smacked his shoulder, forcing him to look up at me.

"I was happy I could help you feel better." I admitted. "I didn't know what to do—"

"But you helped."

"I just did for you what I would want someone to do for me if I was going through what you were. Mae's hugs always stopped me from unravelling."

"And now that she's far away?"

I shrugged. "I don't have that kind of support anymore. I mean, we talk, video chat and all that but it's not the same as having someone wrap their arms around you in a meaningful hug—making you feel safe."

King chuckled. "That is true."

We fell into silence.

"Runn."

King scooted closer so that he had to curl his legs under his body. He framed my cheeks and stared into my eyes, as though staring clean through to my soul.

"If you ever feel as empty as I did today, you have me, na?" He his voice cracked. "I know you don't know me all that well, but I'll be there. All you have to do is say the word."

My cheeks heated and though I wanted to pull away, the sincerity in his eyes caused me to meet his gaze again and smile.

"Na?" He stressed.

I nodded.

He released my cheeks and I exhaled, wondering why he'd said that. It couldn't be to repay me for what I'd done for him. I didn't see that as something that required repayment.