Wilt and Ruin

Chapter Twenty - Five (Tao)

I woke the next morning, the cool air kissing my face and Captain's scent on my skin. But when I reached across, he wasn't there. I jerked upright and glanced around to find him sitting on the edge of the pool, his arms braced behind him, looking up at the clear sky.

Climbing off the bed, I made my way down to sit behind him and drew him into my chest. I kissed the side of his head, his neck then his shoulder.

Captain sighed and melted back against me, calming my fears.

"Are you okay?" I asked, my voice cracking.

I wasn't sure if that was because I was worried I would now be a regret for him, or if it was because I'd just woken up.

"Mm." He moaned.

"Are you sore?"

"No, P." He turned slightly to look up into my eyes. "Okay-khap. I promise."

"And what about—"

"P'Tao." He turned fully to curl his legs under himself and to brace his palms to my bare chest. "I'm okay. I'm not sore because you took care of me after. And I don't regret giving myself to you. Does that cover it, P?"

My heart floated off into the sky and I kissed both his cheeks then his lips.

He moved again, this time to toss his legs over my thighs so he could cuddle comfortably into my chest. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my chin to his head.

For a while, neither of us spoke. It was as though we were trying to soak in all the peace and quiet we could before reality barged in on us again. In that moment, my determination to succeed in school pulsed inside me like a simmering storm.

If I failed, I couldn't hold on to Captain. I wouldn't deserve him if I grew to not be able to take care of him in every way.

He had never asked me to—but wasn't that a part of my responsibilities as his?

What kind of a man ask his lover to suffer through a life of want?

Clearing my throat, I kissed his head.

"P?"

"Mm?"

"Does this mean I'm your boyfriend now?" Captain asked.

"Why?"

"Because I want to know what I introduce you as when I take you home." Captain replied simply.

My heart raced inside my chest as I replayed his reply over in my head.

When I didn't reply, Captain sat up and shifted to look into my eyes.

"P?" I asked even as he tried scrambling from my arms. "Oh gawd, I read too much into—"

I caught his arm and tugged him back down in my lap. When he struggled to get away, I held on tighter.

"Captain."

"Kho tod na?" Captain sniffled. "I kind of assumed that because—never mind."

"Captain. I need you to listen to me."

I kissed the side of his head again.

"I am your boyfriend." I told him. "You can tell anyone you want—it is no secret. I don't want it to be a secret. I was just surprised you want to take me home."

"Well, not right this minute." He sniffled again.

Turning him, I noticed tears were rolling down his cheeks. I wiped them away and kissed his eyelids.

"P kho tod." I whispered, kissing him. "I didn't mean to make you worry. Whenever you want to go, I'll be ready. I thought maybe you wanted me to make more of myself before I even think of doing that."