November Days

Dinner Conversations Part 2

"Claire? Would it be ok if I ask you a rather personal question?" I ask

"Ofcourse" she answered

"On the first time that I ever spoke to you, you told me that you had a boyfriend...why did you lie about that?"

"Well, if I said that and of course I don't remember us meeting before just a few hours ago. But going along with your story...about the time loop...which I'm still not sure I totally believe... it's just so unbelievable ya know? But anyways, to answer your question I guess I would have said that to protect myself from a creeper. Not that I would have thought that was what you are... it's just an answer I'd give if I didn't want to talk to some strange man." Claire says

"OK, yeah ...I can see a lady wanting to protect herself like that...Yeah that makes sense.

It's just kinda a pet peeve.. I guess you'd call it...of mine is that I value honesty above all else,

so I could see answering that with not a lie about having a boyfriend...for to say something like...thanks for asking about the book but I'm not looking for any new friends or buddies right now." I say.

"...and that wouldn't hurt your feelings or make you try harder? You know to get me to change my mind and let you become my friend." She's really smiling when she says this to me.

"No, not at all. I'd actually be pleased that you'd taken the time to tell me how you really feel about the situation, and even though I'd really want to try harder to get you to change your mind... I'd respect your wishes and go on my way and not bother you." I smiled as I said this to Claire "I wish people actually spoke and conveyed what they really mean and not say something expecting the other person to figure it out."

We were silent for a few minutes, just enjoying each others company and eating our meal. I was so amazed at how completely comfortable I was with Claire...not nervous or anxious at all...just at ease and such a feeling of being exactly where I was supposed to me with the person Iwas supposed to be with.

I wondered if maybe I was supposed to have been with her all along...not having gone into my time loop that I'd found myself in. Because Claire had been there the whole time...wow I just really thought about that...she was here right across the street at the coffee shop every day for the last ten plus years and I never even knew and now she'd become the most important person in the world tome.

I could have been with her this whole time...wait...hold on a minute...all those years ago before this loop started, I'd have never had the courage to talk to her...I'd have probably not even noticed her at all actually. But I'd changed since then...I'd grown and left some of that hurt behind me and now I could actually be someone that a person like Claire would like to get to know...wow...yeah...it's because of the loop that I do feel this connection to her. And it's a connection unlike anything I've ever felt before.

But seriously though, what am I doing here?? Do I want to opt out of this time loop and take a chance on being with her?? That would be a huge chance to take and I don't know if I can do that...take a leap like that.

Maybe I just do the safe thing and stay in the loop?  I could spend some time with her each day if I wanted and then on other days I could just get back to reading and movies and stuff, kinda take a 50 first dates approach? If you get my meaning.