November Days

Through The Doorway Part 4

.....OK,so she's there in the doorway to the restaurant across from the coffee shop and she's holding the door for me and waiting for me to go through and so, feeling like I don't have any other choice, I nod a thank you and go through the door. We stand there not speaking, just waiting to be seated and that gives me a few moments to think and catch my breathe as it were, and what I'm thinking is I'm trying to figure out if she has become aware of the loop...because she's acting like she knows me and like we've talked before and yet in this loop it's supposed to be that she's never seen me before.

How could she ask me to go with her then? Or am I just over thinking this way too much and it's not that at all...she's just acting on impulse to a stranger that she's attracted to and she's flirting with me ...but why would anyone ever flirt with me? Sure, maybe after they get to know me and think my weirdness is somehow cute but she doesn't know me. And then, right then when I reach that point in my internal conversation, she takes my hand and says, "You're overthinking this, just like you always do." Yeah, so I guess that answers that...she knows about the loop...she's become aware of it somehow and just like I have no idea how I'm even in the loop, how it works or really anything at all... now I'm not alone in the loop anymore. Now there is Claire right here with me! Oh my goodness! I think my perfect loop just got even more perfect...insert huge happy smile here :)

...and of course, my only response to her is "Hi Claire, you do know me don't you?"

"Of course I know you, silly boy of mine... I've known you for days and days now it seems...but for me it's just starting today because I woke up this morning with all these memories of all these meetings and conversations with you at the coffee shop and the restaurant and walking around town chatting with you about our love of books and movies and tv shows and how we see so many things the same way and I just sat there in bed amazed and thinking no way this could be real. That I must be dreaming and so I got up and got dressed and headed out to find you and see if I was really going crazy or if it was all real and there you were and I knew we had to come here so I could tell you babe that yes we are in this loop together" And she smiled the happiest most amazing smile yet and right then the host came to seat us at our table so I couldn't respond at the point and I had to wait and just smile and hold Claire's hand and think without a doubt I am the luckiest man in the whole entire world.

There's this movie that I used to watch every year at around Christmas...Serendipity... and I just love that movie and now that I'm in the loop I watch it whenever I feel like it. And I don't know if you know the story but there is this guy and girl, and they meet at the wrong time and they spend the rest of the movie trying to meet again but at the right time. And in that moment that I was sharing there with Claire... I had such a profound feeling that finally I'd met the person the universe wanted me to spend the rest of my life with. I'd finally met them at the right time...all those other times Claire and I had met had been somehow geared to get us to this point. And I was so amazed and happy and just finally at complete peace and contentment. Looking at Claire I could see that she felt the same way too.

"What? "She says. "Why are you looking at me like that?" She's smiling though, like she knows exactly why I'm looking at her and all I say is "Oh, I was just thinking about Serendipity" She laughs and says "You're right! We're just like that!" And it's so natural, like we've been together for years and years and we just now each other in this adorable short hand kind of way.

We sit there chatting and we order our dinner and oh yeah, it's a Chinese restaurant by the way another of the many, many things that we love and have in common... we could both eat here almost every meal and not grow tired of it in the least.

"I remember one time you told me your name is Balthazar and that's not your real name, is it?" She says to me and yes, she's smiling. She's always smiling with me and at me and I totally love it.

"No," I laugh and say "My name's Douglas or Doug actually. I've never been all that fond of my name at all and so I call myself Balthazar sometimes" and I'm smiling too like a complete doofus.

She responds with "Well, I love your name and I think it's just perfect" And just like that, I like my name too and I think she's just perfect and I never ever want to be anywhere at all but with her. Holding her and seeing that gorgeous smile and those amazing, sparkling hazel eyes of hers.

We finished our meal and was heading out to walk around town a bit hand in hand and not talking...just enjoying being with each other and knowing each other and basking in that silly, giddy, lovely feeling of being in love.

"Hey" she says, after about half hour or so of completely comfortable silence. "Which house are you in Hogwarts?"

"Gryffindor, of course" I reply.

And she says "Of course you are." Giving me that oh so beautiful smile that is only for me and she says "That's why I love you and yes I just said it" and more smiles from her and sparkles in her hazel eyes.

I take her in my arms and say "Darling, I feel the same... I love you so very much. You're so perfect and I'm the happiest man in all the world"

And she says, "So that makes me your girlfriend now?" And I say "Yes, of course it does. And I'm your boyfriend and we'll never be apart ever again...never at all."

She comes in even closer, and we kiss...such soft and tender kisses and hold each other for a long time.

We spend the rest of the day together...reading a few short stories in an old sci fi anthology I had from college and watching Serendipity...taking the time to snack a little too. And it is indeed so perfectly amazing and completely right.

We fall asleep together, all cuddled and snuggle up tight whispering of our love for each other and we both know that we will be apart when we wake up...we've discussed this as we've spent the rest of the day together. We also know that it will only have us apart for just long enough for her to come back to my place and we'll be together again so very soon... and we fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

She's there just as I'm waking up and going to my door, sitting on my front porch, as I knew she'd be.  Blonde hair in a ponytail and two coffees for us. One in each hand.

"So, you do wake up earlier then I do" I say and she says "Yes, justa little bit earlier...so I've time to get ready for you and grab our coffees and walk over to you."

We'd discovered that she lived only 3 blocks from me. Wow...again so very close and all that time I'd never even known she existed...the love of my life was right there.

Before the loop had started she'd been an actuary at a small firm on main street and really liked her job. Her boss was a bit of a pain at times but now she never had to worry about that any more at all. We had days and days to do what we both loved to do..... read, watch movies and tv shows , walk around town and being with each other. I'd been concerned that maybe she would tire of this life after awhile...that she'd want to ditch the loop and go back to life in amore linear time, like normal. But she really didn't want to...she was as content and happy as I was with all that we had in the loop.

And I know what you're thinking... that this should be the end of this tale...just leave Claire and me here in our time loop enjoying our time and lives together and nothing really changes and it's boring and dull and sweet and lovely and all that stuff and you couldn't be even more wrong if you tried.