whipped

Bad History

Right when we got home I ran to my room just let it all out. I screamed and sobbed all the memories flowing back into my mind. I guess I should explain what happened.... because it's probably really confusing unless you know. So here it goes.

About a year ago while my brother was on tour with One Direction I was dating this guy Eric. I really loved him he was an amazing boyfriend and treated me like a princess. Although as most of you know. All good things come to an end. It was around 4 months that we'd been dating when we went to this party. I got really drunk and another guy saw that so he took his chance and kissed me.

I was too drunk to realize that it wasn't Eric and of course kissed back. We started to make out but then he was thrown back into the wall by Eric. The poor kid got knocked out by one blow to the nose shattering it.

Eric then drug me away from the party. I know how jealous he got by the littlest of things but I never though he would go as far as he did. He took my phone and threw it one the ground putting it into a hundred of pieces.

He then forced me into the car. We drove for hours without him telling me where we were going until we stopped at a small cabin in the middle of the woods not a sign of life around.

He held me captive there for weeks abusing me and other things..... I wish everyday that he would just kill me so it would just end. Then the day finally came that he wanted to get rid of me. I begged and begged for him to just let me go but it was usless. I gave up all hope.

He took me out in the woods blindfolded. I really wasn't even scared I just kept on thinking about how this would be all over. I was ready to go, I had let go and just let memories of my life pass through my mind. I though about my my mom, Cal, and my friends.

I heard him load the gun and then the cold gun on the back of my head. I remember thinking about when I went to prom with Calum. We took no pictures where we weren't acting like idiots. I didn't have a date so right away he offered like the good brother he is. I knew I was crying but it didn't effect Eric. He kissed the top of my head and whispering goodbye.

I can't remember everything after that other than a gun firing and blood being splashed onto me. I then remember someone taking my blindfold off and carrying me to a car and that's where I blacked out.

I woke up the next morning in a hospital and a bandage on my head and arm. Once the doctor found that I was awake he did a quick check up and asking some questions. Which I didnt answer. He finally gave up and instead brought my family in.

My mom came in first having to grap onto the bed so she wouldn't collasp. The whole day was filled with people sobbing an saying how they were sorry that this happened. I just stayed silent looking at my fingers acting like I couldn't hear a word they were saying.

It was so hard hearing my mom sob for hours straight without being able to help. After everyone left I went to sleep crying wishing I would of just been killed so that I didn't have to put my family through this.

The next day I woke up and waited for the nurse to come check on me and give me my pills. I said nothing like usual as she checked me over and finding that I hadn't ate yet. So she gave a lecture on how I need to eat so I could get stronger and leave the hospital. She finally gave me the medication, her mistake was that she sat the bottle of pills down which I grabbed shoving it into my drawer.

The bad nurse that she was didn't even notice before she walked out the door leaving me alone. I knew that I would be alone for at least 3 hours, so I decided on finishing what Eric didn't.

I went to the bathroom in the room shutting the door behind me. I then dumped the remaining pills into my hand. I just stared at them for a while not knowing what to do.

I didn't even notice that he door had opened outside until I heard someone twisting the door knob. I started to swallow the pills as fast as I could before someone came in and knocked them out of my hands.

I looked up to see my brother.... someone must of told him while he was on tour and knowing him he got there as fast as he could.

"Wtf are you doing Shay!" I winced and flinched at him screaming. It reminded me of Eric.

He took me by the shoulders looked at me as I drifted off the pills already kicking in. "Shay how many did you take" I didn't answer as I closed my eyes drifted back in my deep slumber. I felt Calum pick me up and craddling me like a baby screaming for help.

I yet again woke up in the hospital this time tied down so I couldn't try to kill myself again. I started to painic expecting to see Eric again but was soon calmed down my Calum. He came over and kissed my forehead. I flinched away and he looked at me with sad eyes knowing why.

Calum pulled a chair beside my bed and held my hand before he started crying. "I'm so sorry Shay. This is all my fault. I thought I could trust him with my sister. He was supposed to be my friend!" He kicked the desk in frustration before putting his head into his hands quietly sobbing. I took his hand from his face and held onto it for dear life giving him a small smile.

He then made an oath to never let something like this happen ever again and if I did he would never forgive himself. We both agreed not to tell anyone about me trying to commit either.... He didn't want me to get sent away. Not after what had happened. He never left my side after that, I even went on tour with him when he had to leave again.

He's always there when I need him. He's the one that gets up in the middle of the night when I wake up screaming from a bad dream. Or when someone blames me for Eric's death. He handles it.

I try not to think about it but it always comes up. The only thing is..... Calum dosen't allow me to date anyone. He just started to allow me to talk to the boys again a couple months ago. It scares him that Eric was one of his best friends. So that makes him very cautious with me around his other friends.

I understand why though. We both went through a very traumatic moment. It was for the longest of time me not talking to anyone except for Calum. Or me not wanting to go anywhere near the woods. He got me through that... and I love him for that.

But now I just want him to let me have a little move rope.... to let go. Because this time there is no one stopping me from getting Luke now.
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2 updates in a row..... what?!?!
Anyway I know this chapter's nothing like my others and I'm sorry if it was too violent for some. Or if I made you cry (probably unlikely) I'll try to udate again by Thursday.

Xoxo-Kenzie