~Assorted BxB Oneshots~

Don't touch me

ITAFUSHI/SUKUFUSHI ANGST W/ SMUT

TW // SUICIDE, RAPE, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DRUG USE, SIGNIFICANTLY GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF BODY HORROR AND GORE/TORTURE, KINDA SURVIVOR GUILT

READER DISCRETION STRONGLY ADVISED - THIS IS VERY, VERY DARK. PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE NOT IN A SOUND MENTAL STATE

REQUESTED BY - N/A
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Megumi Fushiguro

I don't remember much about the first time it happened. I just remember confusion. Fear. Shame. Then more of each. Anxiety personified. I remember trembling for hours afterwards. Whether that was the confusion, the fear, the shame, or the pain...I can't remember. I do remember dreaming about it for weeks. Rather, I remember waking up in tears from the nightmares. Come to think of it...I guess I still do.

The second time was arguably worse. I think it's my own fault that it was worse, though. I tried to be optimistic. Tried to think he wouldn't do it again. I was more than wrong. It was worse. It hurt more. He laughed more. I cried more.

I think I felt guilty. I knew I liked Yuji, I had since I met him...and I was pretty sure he liked me. But...he obviously didn't know. He didn't know...what he was doing to me. Well...it wasn't him, but...it was.

Getting raped by a curse possessing your crush's body is possibly the worst thing. Because I still liked Yuji...even though he looked the same as Sukuna. And I knew why Sukuna was doing it - to get to Yuji. Which must mean that Yuji cared about me.

I remember occasional words amidst the laughter and the tears. "If only he knew"..."he wants to do this just as much as I do"..."he thinks you're the only one he has"...it all made me sick. I hated myself for still wanting him, and it was worse to know that he wanted me...because he doesn't know. I can't tell him - what would I say?! "Oh, by the way, you've raped me every night for the past three months, just letting you know!"

...the third night wasn't as bad. Because at least I expected it. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't accepting it. I still fought back and spat at him, but he always won. And he always would. The bruises were the worst, since I had to make excuses for them. My excuse was different for each. For Yuji, I'd been training with Gojo. For Gojo, I'd been training with Yuji. Easy enough.

Every night I fought him. And every night I lost. And so, lying in bed, waiting for the inevitable click of the door...I'm crying already. If I cry now, I won't cry when he gets here. I won't show him that weakness anymore. I'll just...silently accept it. I'm fed up of fighting him.

The door clicks. I stop crying, I look over. It's him. But it's not him. I wish it was him. But it isn't. It's the devil.

"Megumi...~"

" ...fuck off"

"Aww, don't be like that, sweetheart!"

"...get it over with"

There was a fire in my voice that I hadn't heard from myself in a while. I was almost proud. That pride was stripped from me alongside my clothes. It was hard to have pride right now. He entered without warning - I had warning enough. He'd done the same for three months, I'd be a fool to expect better.

I was silent.

His pace quickened. He was clearly seeking more than I was giving him, but got nothing. A hand on my neck tried to change that.

I was silent.

A smack on the side of my face was more of a rise than I'd ever managed. I offered him a sweet, fake smile, and earned myself another slap.

I was silent...but I was worried. His face was twisted in fury, and his...his tattoos...they were...fading...oh god no! No no no, he needs to leave. I try pushing him, he holds me down. I can't move. I can't move him. His eyes close, a curt smile on his face...and Yuji's eyes are the ones that open.

He's confused. He's tired. He's...gasping in horror. There's pain as he pulls his dick out of me in a hurry, disgusted with himself. He can't remember anything. He won't listen to me as I call out, trying to explain. He looks devastated, looking down at me as if he'd done it all.

"Y-Yuji, please, listen-"

"N-No! Don't...don't talk to me! I don't deserve it!"

"It wasn't you, Yuji, it was...him..."

"But...he's me!"

And with that, he was out of the room, leaving me disheveled in my bed. I told myself I wouldn't cry again today. That was shattered in minutes. I was too pained to get up and talk to him...and that would mean it was the last time I ever saw him...

...well...alive, at least.

It was two days later when I found him. There was a lot of blood. It wasn't just his wrists he'd slit - they were obviously last. He'd tortured himself. His whole arms were covered in gashes and unclean stabs, as if he'd wildly slashed at them. There were painkiller packets all over the bathroom - probably so he could hurt himself more. He was naked in the bath - cuts covered his chest, legs and even his genitalia. He looked as if he'd crawled out of a giant blender. He had cuts down the sides of his face too - his cheeks were puffy and swollen. Such a different face from the smile I fell in love with.

This was...probably Sukuna's doing. He'll have filled Yuji's mind with all thoughts of horrific lies about what he thinks he's done to me. I felt sick...sick for being relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with Sukuna anymore. I was disgusting for thinking such a thing.

A rope never looked so good a necklace at that point.

I was devastated at losing Yuji, and it broke me more than I'd realised it would. If I had to in order to get Yuji back...

...I'd take Sukuna too.
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Hope you enjoyed it...?