Enough is Never Enough

Chapter 24

Clara sat on the couch. She was resting in their apartment. They were able to clean up the mess caused by the Flagsmashers from a few weeks ago. He stomach was technically healed, it was just a little sore now, almost like she just did a core workout. But now she was waiting. More specifically, she was waiting for Bucky to come back. He left earlier today, saying that he had to "finish off the journal". Clara knew exactly what that meant. Bucky also left with a little gift bag. He should be back soon, I just hope it all went well.

Clara was watching TV, but she always kept her ears open for footsteps. Many, many times she would think it was him, but the footsteps would pass right past their door. Until finally, she heard heavy, slow footsteps. That was him. She was certain. She got up from the couch and ran over to the door. She opened it before he could even pull out the key.

Bucky's head was hanging. His face looked grim, and his eyes looked a bit red and puffy. Clara felt her heart sink. Ohhh nooo. Clara knew this was going to be hard. In the end, all of this flagsmasher drama was a distraction to Bucky's big issues, which was telling Yori the truth about his son. But whatever happened between the time she left Sam's to now had caused some kind of spark. He finally had the strength to tell him. But from the look on his face, it went as hard as Bucky imagined.

Bucky just stood in the doorway, still and stunned. She looked down, and she also showed that his glove was off on his left hand only. She slowly grabbed his hand and led him into the apartment. She quietly closed the door behind him and sat him down on the couch. She sat down across from him, still holding his hand. It was quiet for a few moments. A needed silence.

"I told him everything." Bucky whispered. "He hates me now." Clara shook her head, but he continued, his breath shaky. "I always tried to find the best possible way to tell him. Thinking that he would understand, or it happened awhile ago. But every time I see that shrine in his apartment, and I remember it won't be as easy I hoped it would be. And when I did it, it was just as hard as I imagined."

"But what matters is that Yori now has closure. He knows what happened to his son."

"Yeah. That he was murdered by the guy he got sushi with every Wednesday." Bucky sniffed and Clara squeezed his hand a bit harder.

"And that guy who he ate sushi with is a good guy who would never voluntarily kill an innocent man and feels absolutely horrible for it." Clara out her hand on his cheek, and lifted his head up gently so she could look at him. "He may not forgive you now, he may not forgive you the next week or month or year. It may even be never. But at least now you can forgive yourself. Telling him finally took that weight off your chest and saying it out loud to another person makes that sad reality more true. You did kill him, but you also feel remote and guilt for it. In my opinion, the best way to forgive yourself is to surrender and accept that pain." Clara saw a tear run down his cheek, and she swiped it away with her thumb. She felt the side of his mouth twitch a bit, the corner of his mouth rising and falling. He looked up at her.

"Thank you, Clara."

Author's note: Hey so, since it is reaching the end, the next few chapters are going to be a lot shorter. They are going to be random little scenes that go on in their lives after FATWS events because I can do what I want and I have cute little ideas.