To have and to loathe

• 𝐂hapter 43

The longer Hope lived with me, the harder it was going to be letting her go.

Rewind two months back to when it had all started; when she had asked me to do the most outrageous thing ever.

Hearing those words right out of her mouth had frozen my bones and made my blood run cold. I couldn't quite wrap my head around why she wanted me to, but one look at those forlorn eyes and I gave in, I did it. I'd made love to her, I'd loved her with my body, and every single day after that, I asked myself the same question.

What was wrong with me?

I mean, I certainly must have had a screw loose in my brain when I called Jay Ives and bought her those novels. I literally hated romance novels. They gave women unrealistic expectations of romance and relationships that men couldn't live up to. And I didn't get the whole point of drooling over overly endowed men and detailed sex scenes.

I checked my time as I entered into my car after purchasing dinner from a nearby Italian restaurant. It was six o'clock in the evening. I barely stayed out late anymore. The possibility that something could go wrong with Hope and the pregnancy always kept me indoors. It was a hassle I tell you because she kept buying all these squishy toys and then littering the whole house with them. Worst of all were those weird-looking baby manikins she used for her baby lessons with her mother and made me carry around like it was the real thing.

When I rounded my street and parked my car in the garage, I saw that the living room lights were turned off. It was odd because Friday night's usually involved her lodged on the couch and watching one of her few favorite television shows.

Silence greeted me once I entered. My brows pinched as I made my way into the kitchen and dropped the bags of food before heading up the stairs with quick, economical motions that nearly made me trip over one of the baby manikins on the edge of the stairs.

"Shit." I kicked it away in annoyance and continued to walk and as I drew nearer to her room, I heard her talking faint voice.

Now I wasn't the type to on someone. Heck, I didn't even realize I was peeking through the door she'd left ajar until I heard her talk.

It took only half a second to realize what was happening. She was sitting on her bed, her hand caressing her bare bump as she stared admiringly at it and spoke to herself. "You don't have to worry little apple, your mummy loves you, your daddy loves you and your mummy loves your daddy and-"

My heart stopped and for a few seconds, I convinced myself I was having a dream, but then I realized the scene was real. "And well your daddy doesn't hate mummy anymore so we're one big fa—" the door slightly opened as it came in contact with the side of my face.

Shit.

I reeled back immediately and tried to gather my thoughts together.

"Killian?"