Truth Or Dare? ✓

32. my first time

:) author's note
  sexual content!

  Nico has been acting a little weird all evening, ever since he came home. When I ask him about it, he just changes the subject or laughs it off. His behavior has been making me very anxious.

"Nic, are you starting to have regrets?" I suddenly asked, not being able to stop myself. Nic immediately held his breath and then pushed me a little bit away from him so that he could get up on his elbows and look at me, since I was laying on his chest.

At that moment I was so scared of losing him. I've lost so many people already, I really don't know if I can handle losing another one, if I'm being completely honest.

He turned the movie down and took my hand in his.

"Because I can imagine how it might be less interesting once you finally get something that you've wanted for so long! And maybe that's what's happened to you, but you just don't want to admit it to me or even yourself." I kept talking, my voice breaking a few times from all the nervousness that I felt.

"Are you insane?" His face got serious and he now took both of my hands in his, leaning forward so that our foreheads touched. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"You're everything I've always wanted and more. Don't you ever say such things again, Isabel. Ever." He whispered and started to place little kisses all over my face. It was my time to close my eyes and sigh.

"So you're sure that nothing is wrong between us or you?" I looked up to him.

"I have never been more happy in my whole life. You make me complete." He said to me and my heart fluttered in my chest.

In so little time, I had developed all these feelings for him and there he was with all of his heart out open to me while I'm being selfish and scared of committing fully, so I start to make stupid scenarios in my head.

"Look, I know that all of this is scary for you and maybe too fast." He kept whispering into my ear.

"How did you know that I'm scared?" I whispered back.

"You always try to get a hold of yourself whenever you open up completely to me. For example, when we are kissing and we move to my bed and my hands are under your shirt or inside of you, at first I can see and feel that you're into this, that you want this, but then once you realise it yourself, you lock up something inside of you again and try to be more cautious of everything you say or do. That's how I know, Izzy."

"I don't think anyone has ever understood me like you do, Nic." I said and I meant it with everything that is me.

"I'll forever be thankful that I met you."

"Don't thank me, I should be the one thanking you." He smiled big at me and I smiled back.

Then I kissed him. I kissed him with every feeling and emotion that I had inside of me that ached for him and I hoped that he would feel it too.

"We don't have to go to England this year. I'm sorry if I was too pushy about it." A little while after we stopped kissing and I was back with my head on his chest, hearing his calm heartbeat, he spoke.

For a little while more, I stayed quiet.

"Actually, I think I want to go to England with you."

"Really?" I could hear the joy in his voice and I was even more sure than two seconds before.

"Totally." I chuckled and pushed myself up a little, so that I could place my face against his.

I smiled at him and bit my lip a little, then placed my mouth on the right side of his neck and collarbones.

"What are you..?" Nic asked but was interrupted by his own grasp once I sucked hard on his neck, moving up to his earlobe.

I rolled over him a little more, so that I would be on top of him completely and smiled between the kisses once I felt that he was hard for me already.

"You're making me crazy." He grasped and I lifted up his shirt and started kissing his chest down to his lower area of his stomach.

"Oh, do I?" I asked while looking up at him and he immediately pushed his head into the pillows behind him.

"This is torture!" He exclaimed, his breathing was heavy.

I have never been this turned on before.

I liked when he took the lead and did things to me, however it felt so powering to be in control for once, to see him suffer just as much as he makes me to suffer, so see how his eyes are begging for me to release the tension for him.

Something other than myself was moving my mouth and my hands and my mind.

I started to unzip his pants and slid them down to his thighs, then did the same with his underwear.

I collected the saliva in my mouth for a little before I slowly licked and sucked on the top of his penis.

His hand automatically moved to my head, guiding me and my mouth that for some reason knew what to do.

"Stop before I fuck you." He groaned, choking me and lifting my head up.

Surprising both of us, I moved back down at him and licked him once more, looking up to him.

He gasped a little once the realisation hit him.

"You know we don't have to, right?" without me noticing, Nico had moved on top of me, the moonlight from the window framing his body. He probably saw the concern all over my face, so I took his in my hands.

"I want this, I think I really do, I'm just nervous." I chuckled, finally understanding what this would mean.

"Oh, I thought that you and.." He exclaimed probably more excitedly than he wanted for it to sound. I turned my face away from him, but he soon made me look into his eyes again.

"We never really got the chance to." I shrugged my shoulders, while Nico went for my bra.

He pushed me a little onto the bed and started to kiss my naked chest.

I didn't like the satisfaction he was feeling right now, but who can really blame him.

Nico was gentle with me. When it hurt, he went for the fingers and then tried once more. When it hurt again, he did the same. The whole time he made me feel so comfortable that I didn't even notice when it stopped hurting.

I realised I'm no longer a virgin only after starting to feel his harsh movements inside of me.

I couldn't imagine a first time this enjoyable.

"I love you, Izzy!" he whispered under his breath while his head was resting on my stomach and our fingers were playing with each other.

I always knew Nico's feelings were strong towards me. But recently my feelings have been just as strong as his, I think. And that comes as the biggest surprise after all this time thinking that I'm not capable of forming new feelings.

Especially after this, after my first time.

I've always thought that Owen would be the one.

However at this exact moment, laying naked, skin to skin, with Nico I can't seem to regret it even a little bit.

"I want to love you!" I said and he squeezed my hand in his tighter. His eyes were closed and his lips curled up in a little smile.

"We have time." Nico whispered to me and looked up so that he could look at me.

"I have made sure that we have all the time in the world!"

I might have to let Owen go now.

It never seemed even close to being the right thing to do yet now it feels like it's finally time.