October and April (Bk 2 Of The Valhireya Series)-rewriting

Thirty

Idalia

Hollow... All I feel is hollow, empty. My baby is gone. My parents are gone. How am I supposed to come back from this? How am I supposed to go outside this room and rule the people of Valhireya when my brain is on fire with all the emotions I am feeling and still I feel so empty. A part of my soul is gone forever! How am I going to live with half of a soul? I wish he had killed me! But instead, I killed him, my twin, the psycho that ruined my life. He won! He ruined me! I can't do this! I can't handle this much pain!

Tears run down my face as desperation cries leave my chest. I yell and yell, knowing that nobody will hear me due to the privacy spell Aurora did when she first entered my room.

I scream again, pulling my knees to my chest and hiding my face between them. My crying doesn't stop. How could I stop? My baby! My mother! My father! He killed them all!

My head is spinning from all the emotions that come crashing upon me: despair, anger, uselessness, frustration, pain. I feel dizzy from all the crying and I can barely see, yet my tears don't stop. I will never be the same! This pain will never go away! I need this to stop!

I get out of bed and start hitting the wall, to redirect my pain. Soon, my hand starts bleeding but the pain inside my soul is still louder than ever.

I shift into a vampire and turn to heal my wounds and suddenly I realize what I need to do. I can make everything go away.

I turn all my emotions off and trigger the sleeping process. Silence engulfs my mind and I slip into a deep sleep, finally feeling at peace.

Cade

"What is going on with her?" I ask the doctor as he checks her vitals.

"It appears the queen has morphed into a vampire." He tells me and I frown.

"Then why isn't she waking up?" I ask him.

"She is in stasis." He says and I look at him confused.

"Can everybody stop talking nonsense and tell me what is wrong with my wife?" I ask them, my voice booming loud in the room.

"She has turned off her humanity and gone into preservation." Aurora fills in and I feel myself crumbling. What?

"When will she wake up?" I ask them and both look away. "Fuckin' answer me, God damn it!" My voice echoes the room.

"Nobody knows for sure..." Aurora fills in again.

"How do we wake her up?" I grab the doctor's arms and look at him desperate for a solution. I can't lose her again! Not right when I finally got her back!

"Cade! There is a reason why she turned her humanity off. She went to sleep because she didn't want to hurt anybody with her actions." Aurora tries to calm me down but it doesn't work. My head is exploding right now!

"No! We will wake her up! Her daughter needs her! I need her! The kingdom needs her!" I growl at them.

"Fine! I will research how to wake her up! Just calm down!" She tells me as the doctor sneaks out of the room.

"Don't tell me to calm down, Aurora!" I warn her, aware that she is not the one responsible for my pain.

"The kingdom needs you, Cade! You are their king! I will call my father and ask him to bring Claire back." She tells me and I frown with concern when thinking how scared my daughter will be when she sees the city in ruins.

"Not yet! Tell your father to make up a story for Claire about what happened to the city. Something that won't scare her. I don't know! I need to think!" I tell her and rub my temples.

"OK! Just keep in mind what I told you, please! These people need you, right now!" She tells me again and I clench my teeth with anger. I didn't want to become their king! They don't even know me!

"Why can't your father become king?" I ask her and she looks at me dumbfounded.

"Because Idalia is alive! And while she is alive, she is the queen of Valhireya and you are her king. Don't try to work around this!" She tells me and my jaw tightens even more.

"Fine!" I say, trying to cut this conversation short. Fortunately, she gets the idea and leaves the room while I am faced with the cold reality: Idalia is a living statue.

Tears finally run down my cheeks as I sit on the bed, next to her. I take her cold hand in mine and kiss her knuckles. Fear surges through me as I picture a future without her or more like, no future.

"Please come back to me! I can't live without you!"