The Last Train Home

Chapter Fifty-Three

Across the counter, Mrs Williams gasped and Eva appeared to choke on her own saliva. I stood there and stared at Barbara, at the telegram she held between shaking hands and wondered why she would lie about something like that. The telegram didn't say that, it couldn't. Mum couldn't be gone, not like that.

There had to have been a mistake, a simple mistake that could be solved with a letter or telegram to London. Why would they have targeted our house? Why would they have wanted to kill Mum? It didn't make sense that they would bomb our street, our home. We meant nothing to them, were nothing to them.

I didn't understand.

"Sybil?" Barbara said softly, still holding the telegram.

"It's a mistake," I said, "it has to be."

"I don't think it is, they wouldn't make a mistake like that."

"Then ... then maybe you read it wrong." I nodded my head a few times, almost as if I was trying to convince myself. "That's probably it."

Eva lifted the countertop and stepped into the shop, taking the telegram from Barbara. "Syb, she didn't misread it. I'm sorry."

I looked at her, furrowing my eyebrows. There were silent tears running down her cheeks and I could hear the rustle of paper as her hands shook. If it was a joke, it wasn't a very funny one and I couldn't believe that Eva would go along with a joke like that. They both had to have misread the telegram, swapped out words or just got confused. Maybe Mum was injured and in hospital, maybe they would let me go home to see her, but that was all that happened. It couldn't be anything else.

"Stop saying that!" I snatched the telegram out of Eva's hands and tried to read it myself, but the words just blurred together until it looked like one chunk of writing.

If I could just read it myself then I'd know they were lying, I'd know that Mum was fine and they were just playing a joke that wasn't funny. Except I knew Eva. I knew she would never lie to me about something like that, would she? No. I knew she wouldn't despite every fibre of my being telling me it was a joke or a lie.

Maybe it was true.

Maybe Mum was really ...

Before I could think about it anymore and without really thinking, I pressed the telegram against Eva's chest, not even waiting for her to grab it before I let it go. I turned and bolted from the shop, letting the door slam shut behind me and without turning around.

I weaved in and out of the people standing in the village centre, not really sure which direction I wanted to go or where I was even going. As I darted through a side gate, I heard Barbara calling my name, but I ignored her and continued to run in an unknown direction. I just wanted to be on my own.

Leaving the village square behind me, I followed the twisting path into the trees that encompassed everything. Not even being in the trees, listening to the birds in the trees above me, helped to calm the swirling thoughts that felt like they were running out of control. They kept spinning faster and faster until it became impossible for me to keep up; I kept running.

Branches snagged on my clothing, tearing small holes in my slacks, but I ran. I ran even when my chest and legs started to burn, when it felt like I might run out of air altogether. My shoes slipped and skidded on the still-wet grass, sweat ran down my back and there was a slight ringing in my ears. Even when I felt like I couldn't run anymore, when it felt like my legs were on fire and my lungs had turned to mush, I kept going. I wanted to put as much distance between myself and that telegram. I had to be somewhere no one would ever find me.

My chest squeezed tighter and tighter until it felt like I was underwater and the pressure bad started to take my breath away, leaving me gasping for air. I was drowning, choking on my own breath.