Chapter 1 *Rewritten*

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Kel
⚠️ Trigger warning for : not good eating habits, transphobia, and self harm reference ⚠️

Black. Black is all I see. Then I see light, the light is getting brighter. I saw her face, just for a second. She looked so peaceful. I wish to be as peaceful as she looked. But then again, people say I'm carefree, but your reading about how shitty my life is. Then, I suddenly awoke. To see my brothers breathing corpse. It's unfair to see him wasting his life away. The first week Mari died I was called "dramatic" and forced to get out of bed and it's been a whole year and their still letting hero waste away, and their like "oH nO My PoOR BaBY" Not only that but I miss him. That day I lost my older sister and older brother. But I don't blame him he lost the love of his life.

I want to sit up, but it feels as though I'm chained to my bed. "Kelsey get your ass up!" my mother said screaming, breaking the invisible chains that strapped me on my bed. I put new clothes on, which consist of a orange hoodie and grey shorts, not caring for the new scars on my arms.

I walk into my kitchen tired as hell. "Kelsey, your getting overweight no boys will want a fat girl" my mom says. "Mom, my name is Kel and I am not a girl" I mumble. "i am your mother and i gave birth to a girl!" she screamed at me. "Okay" I say wanting to cry, but Im to tired to. "I love you my baby, and I just don't want you going down the wrong path." She says before continuing "I work hard all day to put a roof over your head, feed you, and clothe you" she says with a sweet tone unlike the one she had when she mis- gendered me. "Maybe you shouldn't eat today, it's not like you deserve it because you yelled at me" she says with such a soft smile. "Yes ma'am" I said agreeing. I already know I don't deserve food because I killed Mari, so she didn't even have to tell me. I walk out the door. I feel shaky. Probably because I haven't eaten in so long I think last time I ate was school lunch two days ago. But not to much because people commented on how much I was eating.

Walking to the bus stop was as tiring as ever. I was close to getting there until I saw a familiar pink haired devil. It was Aubrey. I tried talking and being their for her but it always ended in bruises. She's a bitch, but I still love her. Unlike... someone she supports me. Though she gave me a lot of physical pain she has never misgendered me.

She turned to look at me, furi in her eyes. I don't know why she's so mad but I gave up on asking. I miss Aubrey so much. I want to be friends again, but like I said it ends with bruises. I already give myself enough pain don't need my old friend giving me more.

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