I Need Help But I Don't Care (Kel Angst)

chapter 10

Kel

After my response it was silent for awhile before the kind nurse spoke up. "I think we should tell your parents" she suggested. My heart dropped to my toes. "No! Please don't!" I said as soon as she finished her sentence. "Why not sweetheart?"
"I don't wanna say." I mumbled.
"That's ok" she responds. "But please try to eat more"
"Yes ma'am" I say while taking another slow bite. "You two need to get to class." She stated to Aubrey and Basil.
"Yes ma'am"
"Whatever"
But before Aubrey left she whispered something in my ear. "Don't forget about lunch, especially after this." Then she left. It's safe to say I'm terrified as fuck right now. I'm shaking in my boots. But I play it off and finish my apple slowly.

I stay in the nurses office for awhile until the moment I've been dreading came. Lunch. I heard the bell ring and I was dismissed from the nurses office with some sunglasses for my concussion. I walk as slow as possible. But before I knew it I was in front of Aubrey in the back of the school. "What did you need Aubrey?" I ask. I know she could probably here the fear in my voice. "What's going on with you, you're being weird!" She shouted as I flinched. I guess she forgot I gave myself a concussion. "Huh? What do you mean?" I say very confused. "You always look happy but not in a happy way, you always wear the same hoodie no matter the temperature, Jay is worried about you, you haven't going to basketball practice or games, Hero's not here and it's been a year, and you're not eating to the point you pass out and you can't take a fucking bite of food!" She rants. I stand there shocked realizing maybe I'm more fucked up than I thought. Why does all this happen to me. Is it a punishment for killing Mari. Is it a punishment for being a terrible brother. Is it a punishment for not liking the gender I was born as. Why. "Well aren't you going to respond." My chest feels heavier than normal and I fall to the ground as tears fall out my eyes and the sunglasses fell off my face. I sob. "Um, Kel?" Aubrey says confused. "I don't remember the last time I was genuinely happy, I wear the same hoodie because I fucking slice my arms, I don't mean to worry Jay, I don't have the energy for anything, Hero just stays in bed all fucking day because I'm too useless to actually help him, and I don't deserve food because I don't deserve to live, and you picking on me isn't really helping either! All I ever wanted to do was help you through your issues but you pushed me away, goes to show how bad of a friend I am!" I continue to sob on the ground. I feel arms wrap around me and I realize it's Aubrey. "Im so sorry kel. I'm such a bitch." She says. She continues before I could interrupt. "I shouldn't have been picking on you when we're all going through our own things. It's fucked up!" I hear her sniffle."D-Does Basil know?"
"He only knows about the self harm."
"Oh."
"I need to apologize to Basil."
"It's okay, Aubrey"
"Ah shit!" She screamed.
Basil was behind us the whole time. Damn. "S-Sorry I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I follow kel to make sure you don't do anything." I finish crying at this point "Nah, it's fine."
"Kel, you need to get professional help." Aubrey says seriously.
"I'll be fine and it's not like my parents will get it, they don't care."
"What." Aubrey says ready to murder someone.
"They literally encourage me not to eat and I don't were long sleeves at home halve the time." I say as if it were normal. "So, hero knows?" She asks still looking angry while Basil is quiet. "He has seen me self harm, pass out from blood loss, have panic and anxiety attacks, and laugh to myself about how much I want to die. But he just stares blankly at me." I say as I shrug my shoulders. She looks furious "What the fuck! He needs to get himself together, he can't just watch you do that to yourself!"
"I agree, that's really fucked up" Basil says.
"I'll try to get him out of bed today." I say. The bell rings.
"We're skipping class" Aubrey announced. "Cool." I say tired as hell. "Usually I wouldn't but today has been long, let's go to the park." Basil adds.
"Sure" Aubrey responds. I pick up my sunglasses and we head to the park.