Broken Cycle

Chapter Six

"What do you know about your bio dad?" Carrie asked.

We were in her room, on Google. But I didn't have a name.

"Just that he hurt my mom. That he's half the reason I'm here. I don't have a name, she never gave me a name or picture," I shrugged.

"Go to ancestry.com," she said.

"Isn't that, like, eight bucks?" I asked.

"Not to see who your parents are," she said.

I went to ancestry.com and typed in the information they wanted from me. Then there it was. My moms name and Gregory Harris. I went to google and typed in my bio dad's name. I clicked on a Facebook profile and it was the wrong guy. I clicked on a different one and it was the same guy I saw.

"This is my bio dad," I said to Carrie.

She looked over my shoulder and looked at me. "What're you thinking?"

I scrolled through Greg's timeline, went to his info. He was 32, married, had three kids, and worked at a bank. His Facebook posts were all about his family and how his family went to church every week.

"I'm thinking..." I took a breath. "It's hard to believe someone who's so seemingly nice could rape my mom."

"Maybe he's turned his life around," she said.

"Yeah, that happens," I nodded. I clicked on his profile picture to make it bigger and I stared at it. It was a picture of him with his family. His wife had dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. Their three kids were at least 10, 8, and 6. The 10-year-old was a boy, and the 8 and 6-year-olds were girls. The girls looked like their mama and the boy looked like Greg.

"I wanna meet him," I said.

"Are you sure?" Carrie asked.

"I have to get some closure. You asked me earlier why I acted out. I've always felt like my mom didn't truly love me because I was a rape child. I've always wondered who my dad was and why he never tried to contact us. I grew up without a dad and I don't know why," I said, not taking my eyes off the happy family.

"Well, your mom loves you and Mason to death. Y'all may be rape children, but your hers. She loves you," Carrie assured me.

"I just don't see how," I wiped a year from my eye. "We're reminders of that day."

"I don't know how you feel, but I do know how your mom feels. She loves you and Mason. Period," she said.

"How would you know?" I looked at her.

She looked down. "When I was twelve... There was this guy. He was two years older than me and we all lived in a small town. And, um, one day... My parents wanted him to babysit me. Long story short, he hurt me. And then I didn't have my period for a month. I was scared and didn't know what to do," tears streamed down her face. "Because my mom had given me the talk, but I was still, like, really weirded out.... So I went to my mom, told her what happened and low and behold, I was pregnant. I thought I would lose him," she hid her face behind her hands and composed herself. "But he made the pregnancy... But by the time he was born, I was thirteen. My parents were too busy to raise him and I didn't know how to be a mother.... So, we had to put him up for adoption. And I just know that if I ever saw my son again, I'd wrap him in my arms and hug him forever, because he didn't do anything wrong," she said, wiping her eyes.

"What's his name?" I asked.

"Isaac Edwards Jones. Born August 15th, 2012," she smiled.

"Carrie, I'm so sorry," I hugged her.

"It's fine you didn't know," she said. "That's why we moved. I had to get away."

"What happened to the guy?" I asked.

"My parents pressed charges and he's in juvy," she said.

"Are you gonna go look for him when you get older?" I asked.

She nodded. "I don't want him to feel like you do. I want him to know he's loved. When I turn eighteen, he'll be five. So I'll be lucky. He won't really realize what's happening. And he'll hopefully accept me as his mother."

"He'd be crazy not to," I said.

"Back to you," she said. "How're you gonna meet Greg?"

"I'm gonna go to this bank and talk to him," I said.

"How are you gonna get there?" She asked.

"A cab," I shrugged.

"Do you know when?" She asked.

"Tomorrow. Right when this thing opens," I said.

"Want me to come with you?" She asked.

I shook my head. "I need to do this alone."