Broken Cycle

Chapter Fifteen

The next morning, Carrie was on the phone. I wasn't sure who she was talking to, but whoever it was... I felt bad for them, because Carrie was not happy with them. I couldn't quite make out the words yet since I was still sleepy, but I knew her mad tone. And that was it.

"No, you listen to me. I've tried to be nice about this, but you can't keep doing this," she told the person. "You can make him your whole life because he's a good person. What about Emma? She needs you too! She's your daughter! You're only daughter and you've invested so much time into Mason, that Emma doesn't feel loved by you!" She snapped.

Oh crap.

It was silent for a while and Carrie hung up. I rubbed my eyes, a bit shocked. I never knew she was so passionately angry at my mom for neglecting me. She saw me and paled a bit.

"Don't worry, it's fine. What she say?" I asked.

"She came home last night because the officers that arrested Liam had called her and she saw you weren't home so she didn't think anything of it. I can't believe she doesn't care," she started getting worked up again.

"Don't," I chuckled, calming her down. "Call Ben. You two do something today."

"What about you?" She asked.

"I'll just sleep," I shrugged.

"No, you're gonna come with us," she said.

"I don't want to third wheel," I laughed.

"You won't be third wheeling. You'll just be hanging out," she said.

"Fine," I sighed and we got ready. She called Ben and he said he would come get us and we were gonna hang around the mall.

"Pink or green?" Carrie asked, holding up two different shirts.

"Pink," I said and she nodded.

I was ready before Carrie. Since she was with Ben, she was trying extra hard to look cute. There were knocks at the door and I opened it. Ben was here. I let him in and we sat on the couch. "She's still getting ready," I told him.

"Figured," he laughed. "Where are her parents?"

"Guess out," I shrugged.

"How are you? Carrie text me last night," he said.

"I'm fine," I said, looking at my hands in my lap.

It was quiet for a second and Carrie came downstairs. "Ready," she laughed.

Ben went to hug her and I kept my eyes on my fingers. We got in the car and went to the mall. We walked around, didn't really buy anything, but we did get food. "Hey, I have this friend who wants to meet you," Ben said.

"Uh... Just as a friend, right?" I asked.

"Well he likes you but--"

"No," I shook my head. "No, I'm not ready for that yet."

"Okay," he backed off.

"You'll get through this," Carrie said.

"Yeah, I know, just...not really in the 'happy mood' I guess?" I couldn't make words make sense.

I looked over and saw that Mom and Jamie were out and about shopping. They saw me so I went up to them. Mom hugged me, but I didn't hug back. Jamie just stood quietly.

"Are you okay?" My mom asked.

"I'm fine," I pulled away.

"I was worried," she tried to reassure me.

"Oh, so worried that you decided to take the daughter you don't have shopping?" I snapped.

"Well, I figured you not being home meant you were pulling a stunt again," she shrugged.

"Are you serious? Have you and Mason so oblivious to the fact that I haven't left the house in a month?! That I've been so depressed, I've barely eaten?! Because I didn't have the energy to! Maybe you should've put me up for adoption or something, because you clearly love Mason and Jamie more than me and you know what? I'm actually okay with that now. Because I'm done," I snapped again. I couldn't do this anymore.

"You were the one who kept shutting us out--"

"But you're supposed to break in, you're the mother!" I screamed.

She swallowed and nodded. "You're right. I should have. But I didn't know how. You never listened to me."

"So you give up on me?" I asked.

"I never gave up on you--"

"Kinda feels like you did," I said.

"Maybe you just gave up on me," she said.

"I was crying out for your attention and you would listen!" I said.

"Well, I'm not sure what to say," she said.

"You don't need to," I walked back to Carrie and Ben. They hugged me and I accepted the fact that I'd messed up too much for my mom to trust me. It was my own fault. But it was hers too in a way. I was so tired of everything. I'd broken the cycle of getting violated, but I'd started one of dysfunction. Could someone kill me now? Please?
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One more chapter/epilogue! I still don't know about the spin off. Make your predictions below! Love y'all!