MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO HAVE A DADDY.

Prologue.

"Farrah, please fight for your child. Unti na lang, kapit ka lang sa akin. Kayanin mo, please." I begged as I watch my best friend barely breathing.

"Celestine, I-I can't make it." I shake my head as I held her hand more tight. "Save my child, Cele." oh my god! She's tearing up.

"N-No please. Don't say that, you can make it. Doc, please save them both!" pagmamakaawa kong muli. "Kaunti na lang, Farrah. Please, kayanin mo. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko kapag nawala ka sa akin. We have so many plans. Paglabas ni Eyraia, aalagaan natin siya hindi ba? Magiging magulang tayong dalawa, hindi ba iyon ang plano? So breath, Farrah." hindi ko mapunasan ang mukha kong umiiyak pati ang sa kaniya dahil hawak ko siya sa kamay.

They're in critical state. Pinilit kong pumasok dito para samahan siya.

"Miss, I'm sorry to tell but one of them may can't make it. It will took a big risk. Maaaring pareho silang mawala kung pipiliting isalba sila pareho. One must live." the doctor was rushing.

Madiin akong umiling nang bumaling ako kay Farrah. She looked at me and smiled weakly. I know that smile, I know what she means.

"F-Farrah,"

"Celestine, I have made a wonderful journey in this world. We can't sacrifice my child's life to keep me alive. Hindi ko din naman kakayanin kung siya ang mawawala. You're a big part of my life. My best friend who can treat me as a sister and daughter at the same time." she laughed.

It sounds like a farewell message! No!

"Farrah, no!" inabot niya ang pisngi ko at wala akong magawa kung hindi ang damhin ang palad niya.

"Alam kong ayaw mo ang magiging desisyon ko, pero deserve ni Eyraia na maluwal, Celestine. Siguro tama na ang dalawampu't limang taon ng buhay ko. I am thankful to have you in my life until this time—that I will leave everything already. Please, take care of my daughter. S-Sorry, hindi na natin maitutuloy ang planong tayong dalawa ang mag-aalaga sa kaniya." we're both crying while the doctor is busy on the baby.

"Farrah, I can't."

"I have transferred all my properties on your name. Please, take a good care of my daughter. Raise her. I'll be watching you both. At sana, hindi mo makalimutang ikwento ako sa kaniya. Palakihin mo siya malayo sa gulo na meron ang buhay ko, palakihin mo siya nang may prinsipyo at pangarap. I did a great fight in those years and it's time for me to leave. I love you, Celestine. And tell my daughter that I love her too. Doc, save my baby instead of me." she said as she turned to the doctor and to me again.

She smiled at me genuinely this time before closing her eyes. Her eyes was tired and I know she's still alive, just waiting for the time she die.

Napaluhod ako. Alam kong kahit anong gawin ko, hinding hindi ko na mababago ang desisyon niya. It's already hurting my heart inside but I have to accept this.

"Y-You did a great fight, Farrah. I love you, and I promise to take care of Eyraia. I will miss you. Thank you, thank you for being with me."

And for the last time, a tear came of from her eyes before the doctor declared her dead. At kasabay ng pagpantay ng linya sa monitor, ay ang pag-iyak ng isang sanggol.

Napaluha ulit ako. My journey with my best friend, has now reached the end.

I stared at Eyraia. Ilang minuto matapos ang pagkamatay ni Farrah at heto ako, nakatulala at nakasandal sa clear glass, minamasdan ang batang mahal at mamahalin ko.

"Ang cute mo baby Eyra. Are you hungry na?" Stella talked to the baby. "Oh gosh, Celestine. She's crying! Oh my god, did I broke her bone?" taranta nitong ibinigay sa akin ang sanggol dahil sa biglaang pag-iyak nito.

"Hindi. Nagugutom lang siya." I calmed her and she sighed in relief.

"Whoo, I thought I broke her bones na. Wait here, kukunin ko lang ang gatas niya." mabilis siyang umalis.

Tumayo ako habang nasa braso ko ang bata. I walked to my best friend's coffin. I tried my best not to tear up pero isang sulyap ko pa lang sa mukha niya, naiyak agad ako.

"Look, Farrah. Can you hear her cry? She's beautiful as you. If you can just o-open your eyes, you'll be happy to see your daughter. She's missing you already, and I am too."

I felt Stella's presence. "Oh, C-Celestine?" her voice is worried. "Are you okay? I mean, sorry, you're definitely wasn't okay right now. Want a hug?" lumingon ako sa kaniya. Nakalahad na ang mga braso niya at nang magtagpo ang mga mata namin, ngumiti siya ng maliit. "Alam kong medyo hindi tayo nagkakaunawaan dahil sa ugali ko pero okay naman tayo, right? You can lean on me, whenever you feel—" I ran to her.

Isang braso ang iniyakap ko sa kaniya dahil hawak ko ang bata sa kabila. She's right, kahit hindi kami masyadong close basta casual kami, p'wede rin akong tumakbo sa kaniya. She's one of my cousins. Medyo maarte at maldita pero alam kong mabait siya.

Dahan-dahan siyang yumakap pabalik, marahan at maingat dahil sa bata sa gitna namin. Tinapik tapik niya ang likod ko habang hinahayaan akong umiyak sa balikat niya.

"I know it's hard. Kahit naiinis kami ni Farrah sa isa't isa, hindi ibig sabihing hate ko siya. We also made bonds at biro biro lang ang laitan namin. I miss how she roll her eyes on me. I miss her, too. I know she's now in peace and watching you and Eyraia. It's okay to grieve. I'm here anytime, cous." I cried even more.

Madaling araw nang magising ako sa iyak ni Eyra. Mabilis kong kinuha ang gatas niya. I can't breastfeed her, wala pa ngang gatas ang akin tsaka recommended ng doctor ang gatas na pinapainom ko ngayon sa kaniya.

It's two am. Lahat ng tao sa bahay na nakiramay sa pagkawala ni Farrah ay umuwi na. Nagpumilit pa si Stella na dito na manatili para may kasama ako pero tinanggihan ko siya.

Tahimik na umiinom ng gatas si Eyra and I can't help myself but to stare at her face. It always reminds me of Farrah.

Farrah is my greatest best friend for ten years. In our ups and downs, we're their for each other. Nang ma-depressed ako sa exam nu'ng senior high, nang mag breakdown ako nu'ng college at nu'ng humiwalay ako sa pamilya ko 'cause of problems, nandu'n siya. At lahat ng katarantaduhang nagawa ko, alam niya. Siya lagi ang tumatawa kapag nagkukwento ako ng mga walang kwentang bagay. Siya ang taong pati mga laman loob ko, tanggap niya. Kahit ganito ang ugali ko, wala lang sa kaniya.

She became my sister for ten years. Ang kalingang binigay niya ay hindi ko kailanman naranasan sa piling ng pamilya ko. Yes, I have parents and two other siblings. Pero humiwalay ako nang matapos na ang bahay na patago kong pinapatayo. Nandu'n din si Farrah nang ma-achieve ko ito.

At lalong nandu'n din siya nu'ng pareho kaming nakatapos ng pag-aaral. She's an architect and I'm a baker. Kahit na sa busy times namin, hindi namin nakalimutan ang mag-usap.

How I wished she's still here.

"When you grow up, I will tell you about how me and your mommy met. Ikukwento ko sa'yo kung gaano kabuting tao ang mommy mo. I miss her and I know you too. Hinding hindi ako magkukulang sa'yo, Eyraia. Tutuparin ko ang pangako kong aalagaan kita." a tear fell off from my eyes again, pinunasan ko kaagad iyon.

Alam kong iiyak na naman ako sa araw ng libing niya pero ang sakit pa rin. I whispered through the air as if she can really hear me while Eyraia was on my arms.

"Until we meet again, bestie."

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Astrid Manunulat