Lord, Find Me Before He Does

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I want to be a follower of Christ

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I want to be a follower of Christ.
But I do not believe in God.
I believe in the things those people stand for,
the things they keep close to their heart,
And die for.
I, too, want to spread love.
But now more than ever, for I feel it depleting from my body.
I don't know where he picked up the weapon,
But he's found it fun to poke at me.
Like a vessel, I leak.
But I started losing the wrong things.
What I would give to truly believe in that man.
But men are too much for the fields in my heart.
They trample.
I hurt.
I lose.
He goes to sleep.

E.

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