This is a personal documentation through poetry.
I am learning to look inward now, give myself love when I least want to. I do not live to love others, I live to love myself. I will find and create what is enough for me, and you will learn to let it...
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The downpour runs along my arms, Water droplets collecting and colliding, And falling off my fingertips. To look up and see no trace of clouds, Where is the rain coming from— How did it find me? I always try so hard to stay hidden and protected, But my damp arms are contrary to my efforts. Futile attempts at keeping my heart dry Cause me to ultimately drown in the end. My fingertips slowly reach out to you, As if to call you back to me. And I expect the rain to stop when you approach, When you grasp my face in your palms And you try to find that connection, But it never does. You bring me bad weather, And oh, how it scares me. How do you find me when I always try to stay quiet? How do you keep me on my toes? How do you have me still? I wish that the universe would take this feeling away. I don't want to love someone like you anymore, But I know it will be a long time until it goes away.
Because I loved you. So dearly, I loved you. You were my everything, and all I wanted was life with you. But life with you turned sour so fast, And I saw past your skin, through your bones. I saw the parts that make you, you. The parts that made me love you, And the parts that took that away. I saw all of it. And I just don't want to look at you anymore.
