I drive around town searching aimlessly
For a light that will blind me.
Make me swerve off the road and into a ditch,
Where I can sleep peacefully.
I sit outside on my porch for two and inhale
The smoke my mother gave me.
Hoping I can curb the urges for just
A little longer.
I host get togethers with people I love,
And attend them at my parents' home.
Each pair of eyes touches me at some point,
And I know they see a ruin.
Yet when I plant my garden, it's already fallen apart.
The soil dirties my hands, and the flowers
Don't want to grow in the presence of me.
I am not the light I search for, or even a sleepy ditch.
I am not made of smoke and hunger.
I am not a glass of wine or a pair of eyes.
And I am not a garden.
I am a broken headlamp in a dark hole.
I am a shattered ashtray and a dud lighter.
I am spilled milk to cry over.
I am the mold that stunts all growth.
And I cannot stop spreading.E.
YOU ARE READING
Yours Truly, Mooncalf
PoetryThis is a personal documentation through poetry. I am learning to look inward now, give myself love when I least want to. I do not live to love others, I live to love myself. I will find and create what is enough for me, and you will learn to let it...