The Meyers' Estate

Chapter 14

"Can we talk?" I asked Chris when he opened his door.

"Depends on what it is."

"I want to tell you something."

"Okay." I walked into his room and saw clothes laying everywhere and posters hung on the wall.

He motioned to his bed and I sat down.

"Here me out."

"Okay."

"I know what it feels like."

"No you don't, no one does." I lifted up my shorts to reveal three almost completely faded white scars.

"Yes I do. When I was eight years old my parents both died in a car accident." I took a deep breath. "I was in the car."

He stared at me in shock. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Just hear me out. When I was in the hospital after I had woken up I got the news. I had the worst panic attack I had ever had that day. I went into shock and they said my heart almost stopped beating.

"After that I went to live with my aunt. We had to walk everywhere because I wouldn't get into a car. Every time I heard the honk of a semi truck I freaked out. The first time I tried to get into a car I had another really bad panic attack and was hospitalized. They diagnosed me with a severe anxiety disorder. When I was ten years old I could finally ride in a car. They took me off of the anxiety medication and I felt relatively better.

"When I was twelve my aunt was diagnosed with Leukemia. That day I had the second biggest panic attack. They put me on the anxiety medication again. The thing about it though, sometimes when it's more than just an anxiety issue they make things worse. I developed depression, That's what these are from." I motioned to my thigh. "I only did it three times. My Aunt May found out and she was so upset." I had to stop, tears were building up in my eyes. "She wasn't upset at me, she was upset with herself I guess for not realizing I was in so much pain. She immediately got the anxiety medication taken off and I felt kind of better. Even though at times when I was younger I wanted to do it so bad, to feel the physical pain to cover the emotional ones, I wouldn't. I made a vow to myself that I would never do it again, and so far I've lived up to that.

"I'm here though because almost a month ago my Aunt May died. I had another panic attack that landed me in the hospital. I was put on anxiety medication once again. I couldn't live there anymore, I just couldn't. I don't have anymore family to take me in either. I guess my dad and your dad were best friends growing up. So he took me in, and here I am.

"So the point of the story is that I know that you're hurting, or at least you were. I'm here for you, and I'll help you. I really want to. You don't have to tell me what's wrong, I just want to help because I know how dark a place you can go too, and I don't wish that on anyone." He just kind of looked at me for a long time.

"My mom died when I was ten. I took it really hard, probably the worst other than my dad." I didn't know what to say. I mean when I came in here I didn't actually expect him to tell me his story, I just wanted to let him know that I'm was there.

Chris got a faraway look in his eyes. "I was depressed for a really long time, just really moody and sad. When I was twelve I started cutting. Alex found out about a year later, and he was crushed. For about six months though I still kept doing it until I saw how it was effecting him also. So I stopped. When I was about fourteen I got mixed in with the wrong kids at school. A lot of them did drugs and got into fights. I started getting into street fights a lot. I guess I didn't mind it that much because it was like a supplement for the physical pain when I stopped cutting. I used to come home bruised and bloody and Kenny would cover for me. I got arrested once for being in the crowd just watching a fight and Kenny and John came to bail me out. That's why he was so mad in the kitchen, I got into a fight a couple weeks ago and he's sick of covering for me."