Kaz was walking fast through the lights of West Stave, noting the busy streets and busy lives all around him. He didn't care for any but one. He and Inej didn't get much time together anymore, but they moments they did get were treasured and held as close as he could. Not that he'd ever admit that, of course.
All he and Inej had known for the past few months was touch and go. A brush on the hand, a whispered admission, and then they were on their own ways, ever bustling, ever busy.
But even for those few moments they could be alone with their changing minds. They had fallen in love and would stay that way until it hurt, bled, or faded in time.
It was funny, how little Kaz had seen Inej coming. How much he would never be the same, just having known her.
She had come around and the armor had fallen.
I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.
She had pierced the room like a cannonball. Now all they knew was don't let go. They could be alone, just him and her. Up in the top floor of the Slat with their slates and pasts clean, only the present and each other. Just twin fire signs and four brown eyes.
So you were never a Saint, and I love in shades of wrong. We learn to live with the pain, like mosaic broken hearts. But this love is brave and wild. Kaz had told Inej as he had practically begged her to give him one more chance, to just stay with him a little while longer before she had to leave again.
I never, ever saw you coming. I'll never be the same. He thought as he passed the broken down Menagerie, the place he'd first seen her, first met her.
I can help you.
And so she had. She'd also nearly destroyed him. But if Kaz had to pick his destruction, it would be her every time.
This is a state of grace. This is a worthwhile fight. Love is a ruthless game, unless you play it good and right. These are the hands of fate. You're my Achilles heel. This is the golden age of something good and right and real. And I never saw you coming, nor will I ever be the same. But this love is brave and wild.
Kaz just wished he had the words to tell her so. He managed, sometimes. It was impossibly difficult for either of them to be as open or caring as they so wished to be. But they did learn to live with the pain, like a mosaic of broken hearts. Kaz really did try to give Inej all he could, to be the man she wanted. The man she deserved.
He really did try to be Kaz Rietveld again, just for her. Sometimes he managed it. Other times Dirtyhands had him in a stranglehold and he just pushed her away.
But Inej was patient, a virtue she'd learned as the Wraith and enslaved at the Menagerie. She would not wait forever, but she would keep holding his hand through it all, through everything. Kaz just hoped he was good enough to do the same for her.
This is a state of grace. This is a worthwhile fight. You are a worthwhile fight. My darling Inej, treasure of my heart.
Kaz quickened his uneven steps, practically running. He didn't care, not too much, not anymore. They'd been tentative and unsure long enough. Kaz knew she was just as eager to see him as he was her and Inej would never judge him for caring too much. It was something she was always trying to get him to show.
And Kaz would do anything to see her smile again, hear her laugh, have her near.
He was at Fifth Harbor now, and he could see the sleek schooner up ahead. The Wraith was docked at berth twenty-two, as she always was when she returned carrying her beloved captain.
Inej's lithe form was outlined on the deck, the sun forming a golden halo around her. She turned, her hair loose for once and her feathered hat perched on top.
Kaz was close enough now to see her face and she was smiling, smiling at him.
"Kaz!" She called out, vaulting the railing and running lightly, soundlessly towards him.
Inej was home, and so was Kaz.
