stigma | yoonmin

iv.

time skip.

tw.
- internalized homophobia/homophobia
- panic attacks

enjoy the read :)

-

It was after graduation that Yoongi confessed to him.

It was dark outside, Yoongi was laying next to Jimin on his bed, and they sat in the dark talking for what felt like hours.

Yoongi's parents had finalized their divorce, and since then he'd been living with his mom and new step-dad.

Tonight he decided to spend with Jimin since the graduation ceremony ended a few hours ago and it was too late to walk back home.

They reminisced about how they met and laughed about how ironic their friendship was.

Chances Are by Johnny Mathis was playing on the record player.

When the laughter died down and Jimin layed back on the older's chest, Yoongi took the chance and blurted out:

"Jimin I've been in love with you since the day I met you."

He froze.

"Oh Yoon.."

"Don't you feel the same?"

"Oh trust me I do, but I also must tell you.. news.."

Jimin began to sit up and Yoongi also rose to lay on his elbows.

"I'm leaving tomorrow"

"Tomorrow, w-what do you mean tomorrow Jimin."

"I'm leaving for the states, tomorrow at 8am. I got accepted into UC Berkeley! I'm gonna be a lawyer Yoongi!"

The older failed to notice the boxes sprawled around Jimin's once decorated room because of how dark it was.

"Oh.. Congratulations love. Can I ask the rush? Semesters don't start until the end of July there."

"Well I planned on going there for the summer first to get a feel of my surroundings, just so I dont look completely stupid on the first day."

Jimin noticed Yoongi doing that thing whenever he had gotten upset, shutdown.

"Yoongi.. hey I'm sorry I know I should've-"

"How could you wait to tell me Jimin? I thought I was your best friend and I'm the last person to know about your leave?"

Jimin quieted.

"And on top of that I'm fucking in love with you and we have to be apart and-"

"It could never work Yoongi, and you know that."

"We could make it work Jimin, let me come with you just.. Don't leave me here."

" I love you Yoongi, but once I step on that plane I'm leaving every wretched thing I've done here behind."

"Are you calling our love wretched Jimin? H-how dare you-"

"Yoongi I love you more than anything else in the world but us continuing this- this- tumorous relationship is only gonna get the both of us killed."

All the lights shut off in Yoongi's mind. It felt like he had just been socked in the stomach and had his heart ripped out of his chest.

His breath began to cut short and his vision got hazy because of the panic in his body keeping him from having his eyes open.

Jimin knew how to handle it from the first time this happened, so he layed him down and whispered in his ear:

"I'm sorry things have to be this way, I'll get the pills and some water."

Jimin pecked his cheek but felt wet tears on his lips.

Yoongi was crying.

"Jimin what changed in you?"

"Nothing changed Yoongi, I just need to do what's best for my career."

"What about your heart?"

"I can worry about my heart after I collect my degrees. For now, I need to focus."

Yoongi looked in his eyes and Jimin grew nervous, no one had ever looked at him like that before, not even his own parents.

"Jimin do you trust me?"

"With everything I have."

"Then let me drive you to airport and escort you to the gate."

"There's no need for that, I'll catch a taxi-"

"It's the last time I'll see you, just grant me one last wish."

"Alright then"

Jimin then left to fetch the pills and a cup of water

Yoongi closed his eyes content for a second

No matter how selfless he was, he always had a little bit of selfishness dragging behind it. Yes this was his last time seeing Jimin, but it would also be Jimin's last time seeing him...

At least in this universe.