Pennyroyal Tea [k. cobain]

five.

Kelsi

"Kelsi, is that you?" Michelle called as I pushed open the front door of my apartment. I felt a brief pulse of anger as I remembered that she had abandoned me the night before.
"Yeah, it's me!" I answered. "Glad you care!"
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Michelle, stumbling into the living room in a bathrobe with her hair wrapped up in a towel.
"You abandoned me last night!" I exclaimed.
"You were with Kurt!" argued Michelle. "I figured the two of you would hook up. And I'm obviously right."
"You're so not, actually!" As annoyed as I was with Michelle, I didn't want to be angry because I wanted to tell her what happened.
"Well then where have you been?" Michelle demanded.
"Oh, with Kurt," I answered vaguely.
"Then you're going to have to go ahead and tell me what happened."
"Okay," I answered, taking a seat on the couch and spilling the events of the night before and that morning. Michelle sat next to me and soon I forgot all about being angry with her as I described my time with Kurt.
I described how I blacked out and then got sick everywhere.
"You poor thing," Michelle empathized. I continued telling her how Kurt was so sweet about the whole thing.
"And this morning he took me out for breakfast," I continued telling her. "Then afterwards we went for a long walk and talked some more. I really like him, Michelle."
"Oh, I'm excited for you!" She exclaimed.
"So what about you?" I asked. "I heard you left with Jake."
"Yeah, we hooked up. It was alright. I don't think he's really my type." This situation was typical Michelle— hook up with a guy and then make a million excuses for why he wasn't good enough so she didn't actually have to date him.
"That sucks," I answered. I didn't feel like getting into the psychology of Michelle's choices right at the moment.
"Are you going to see him again?" Michelle asked about Kurt.
"Yes," I answered. "As a matter of fact, he invited me to their band practice tonight."
"That's cool. They're a really good band."
"They are," I answered. I was excited, even though I didn't want to come off like a groupie. I reminded myself that technically I did this for a living now. I was the press, not a groupie, technically speaking.
"Oh," Michelle said with a frown. "Not to ruin your mood, hon, but there's a message on the machine from Will."
"Ugh, what did it say?" I asked. I didn't feel like dealing with Will. I wished he'd take a hint, but that clearly wasn't happening.
"Just how he misses you and hopes you'll call soon. Why don't you just end things with him?"
"I don't know. Because I'm bad at tough conversations?"
"I don't want to see you mess up your chances with Kurt because you still have Will around." Michelle was right.
"Yeah, okay. I'll talk to him. I'll call him tomorrow." I didn't need to have that conversation ahead of my night with Kurt.

"Okay, I'm headed out, Michelle!" It was nearly six o clock and I was headed to Krist and Shelli's for band practice.
"See ya, Kels." Michelle popped her head into the living room. "Wait, you're wearing that?"
"What's wrong?" I asked, looking down at my ripped jeans and t-shirt from a local record store. I had my favorite flannel on over it.
"Don't you even want to try to look cute for Kurt?"
"I'm comfortable like this. I'd rather be myself." Michelle made a face.
"Are you sure? I can lend you something to wear. I have this black leather skirt that would look so hot on you..."
"Not happening, Michelle," I insisted forcefully. Leather skirts might've been her cup of tea, but they certainly weren't mine. "I'm heading out now."
"Alright. Catch you later."

I decided to walk to Krist and Shelli's since the weather was decent. When I arrived, I found Kurt sitting cross-legged on the little front porch, having a smoke.
"Hi," I said, grinning, feeling a bit shy when Kurt grinned back and jumped up to greet me. He threw his cigarette down in the grass and reached out his arms to give me a hug.
"I'm glad you came," he said softly.
"I wouldn't miss it," I answered. Kurt looked down at me, a perfect smile on his lips.
"Can I kiss you?" He whispered. I nodded. He pressed his lips softly against mine and I felt like electricity was erupting all around us. When we stopped I was so dizzy I had to steady myself. We grinned at one another like idiots.
"You want to come in?" Kurt asked, squeezing my hand. "Shelli will be happy to see you again."
"Sure," I answered.
Shelli was, in fact, happy to see me. She smoked with me and fed me snacks while the guys finished getting ready for practice.
Finally, Chad, the band's drummer, came to collect us and escort us to the basement where everything was set up. We were about to have our very own personal Nirvana show!

When Kurt sang, I swore he sounded even better than he had the night before. His gravelly voice rang out through the basement. I guessed that Krist and Shelli's neighbors probably really loved all the noise.
They performed some songs I recognized from the night before and a couple that I didn't. Kurt sang Love Buzz, which I recognized as a Shocking Blue cover. There was one other song that stood out in stark contrast to the others because it was much more quiet and melodic. There was something very hauntingly beautiful about it.
I thought about everything I knew about music and the industry, as I watched Kurt wail into his microphone, almost as if he were in another time and place altogether. He paid little to no attention to anything around him, like he was caught up in his own mind. I knew in my heart he had talent—tremendous talent. And it wasn't just because I thought I was falling in love with him. His musical genius was undeniable.
I thought to myself, playing there in that damp little basement, with an audience of two, were some guys who just might have what it takes to be rockstars.