Pennyroyal Tea [k. cobain]

eight.

Kelsi

"Kurt!!" I squealed as Kurt flung pasta sauce across the kitchen at me. "Stop it!"
"You started it!" He teased, laughing. It was true. I had thrown a spaghetti noodle at him out of the blue. Now, I regretted it. I grabbed a piece of garlic toast from the tray on the counter and chucked it at him. It bounced off of his forehead and landed in the pot of sauce.
Kurt and I dissolved into a fit of laughter as Kurt fished out the piece of garlic toast.
"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to ruin dinner, Kels. I'll have you know that my world renowned cooking skills are no match for your shenanigans." We both laughed.
"Fine. You finish dinner then." I flounced out of the kitchen.

And he did. The pasta was only a little undercooked. But I'd suffer through a couple crunchy pieces of spaghetti for Kurt. I still couldn't believe that he had come into my life so quickly and in such a significant way. It was only Tuesday evening, but I already felt so comfortable with Kurt staying with me that I felt like I could live with him. Everything between us seemed to happen so naturally. I didn't believe in soulmates or anything, but I knew that Kurt was someone special.
I watched him as he ate, mundanely twirling spaghetti around his fork. He was so beautiful, even doing the most ordinary of things. He looked up at me.
"What?"
"Nothing. Just admiring you," I answered, watching the faint hint of a blush appear on Kurt's cheeks. I giggled. Kurt shook his head.
"What? You're very handsome!" Kurt blushed harder and cast his eyes downward. I laughed.
"You are one of a kind, Kelsi Lewis," muttered Kurt through a mouthful of spaghetti.
"You bet I am," I answered back with a wink. "But so are you, Kurt Cobain." He shook his head but the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly.

Being with Kurt felt as effortless as if we'd been dating for months, or maybe even years. We were comfortable in silence while we'd relax together on my couch. He'd rest his head in my lap and I'd play with his hair. I loved admiring him while I did this. I couldn't believe he was mine. At least for this week, he was.
I slept so soundly with him in my bed. Resting against his chest with his arms around me was nothing short of heaven.
Of course we also chain-smoked, critiqued lots of records, got drunk a few times, and spent all of Wednesday stoned out of our minds. I hadn't had such a good time in ages. I scarcely thought of Will all week. Kurt was who I wanted.

"What if we went to Seattle together?" Kurt asked suddenly on Thursday afternoon when we were sitting together in my living room.
"What, like a trip?" I asked.
"No, Kelsi. I mean move there together. I mean, you have to go for work, and I'm planning to go with the band..." I thought about what he was suggesting. It would mean spending time with Kurt like this all the time, which was wonderful. But at the end of the day we were still two people who didn't know each other all that well. And I was a little cautious.
"Let's see where things go in the next few months," I answered, taking Kurt's hand and squeezing it.
"I knew I shouldn't have asked," Kurt mumbled.
"No, Kurt. Believe me, I love how things are going. Let's just see how they keep going, okay?"
"Okay," he answered with a small smile.

Thursday night we sat around drinking vodka and Kurt talked some about his family and his life. I learned about his separated parents and how he'd struggled as a kid. In turn I shared with him how difficult it had been to lose my dad, and how hard it was since it was just me and Mom now. Kurt held me while I cried—a weakness I was embarrassed to show—until I felt how tightly he held me and how genuinely he cared. Then I broke down like never before.
"Kels," he whispered softly as he stroked my hair with his long fingers. "It's okay, sweetheart." His shirt was soaked from where I had been crying.
"I'm sorry," I apologized, trying to lean away. But he pulled me close and wouldn't let me go.
"I've got you, Kels."
"Thank you, Kurt," I answered after a moment. "You're more wonderful than I deserve."
"Me?" Kurt laughed darkly.
"Yes, you." I hit his arm playfully. Our eyes met. Kurt leaned closer to me. His lips met mine and I felt the now familiar, although never less thrilling, feeling of kissing Kurt. And slowly all my troubles melted away.

Friday afternoon, we decided we'd get out of my apartment for a while and browse some stores. There were a couple of second-hand shops nearby that I liked, including one that sold lots of clothing. We also wanted to go by the record store, grab a late lunch, and go by the grocery store before heading home.
I was excited to spend the day out with Kurt. We were dressed similarly in jeans, t-shirts and flannels, which made both of us laugh. In the car we talked about how we couldn't wait to look for more t-shirts and flannels when we got to the store.
At the first second-hand store, Kurt found a box of old medical equipment and an old doll that looked creepy. He was in heaven. I found a cool old leather-bound journal that I planned to use for writing.
As we headed for our next destination, with the windows down and the music blaring, holding hands and singing along, I felt something of magic in the air. Maybe this was finally something that could last.