Operation B.U.T.T.

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Another request by trueloverjay

Now loading: Kids Next Door mission: Operation B.U.T.T.

Blackmail
Uncovers
Titanic
Tush

The room is entirely black with only a spotlight on Nigel in a pair of red and yellow swim trunks.
Nigel: You can't do this! I'm your leader!
Two spotlights turn on, revealing Abby and Alastor.
Alastor: You're going whether you like it or not, Numbuh 1.
Abby: We don't care that you're our leader. You're going!
Nigel: Please! You don't have to-
Nigel tries to walk toward Abby but gets shocked by a force field around his spotlight.
Nigel: We could go on a mission together. Yeah, that'll be fun, huh?
Wally is revealed with a spotlight.
Wally: No can do, Numbuh 1.
Kuki has her own spotlight.
Kuki: Look at him! He won't last 10 minutes out there!
Abby: You guys hush. It has to be done.
Hoagie stands next to Abby, in his own spotlight.
Kuki gasps and silently cries as everyone looks down and nods.
Hoagie: Have fun, old friend.
He pulls a lever, making Nigel gasp as the floor under him gives way and he screams in his decent down.
The spotlights go out, operative by operative.
Kuki: Goodbye, Numbuh 1.
Kuki keeps on crying.
Nigel falls into a body of water and gasps. He growls.
Nigel: You know I hate the beach!
Abby: You've been working too hard, so we're making you take a day off whether you like it or not.
Hoagie: It's for your own good!
Sector V except Nigel leave in the S.C.A.M.P.E.R.
~Time skip brought to you by literal adults laughing at a literal child for losing his trunks~
Wally: Yeah, come on, come on, that's it. Come on, baby. Come on, come on.
He and Kuki are playing a video game while Hoagie, Abby and Alastor watch. Alastor holds a comic book in her hands while Abby holds a magazine.
Kuki: I hope Numbuh 1's at least having some fun.
Nigel peeks his head around the corner, going unnoticed by his teammates.
Abby: No sweat. I'm sure he's having a blast.
Nigel moves his hiding spot to the fridge.
Wally: Hey, Numbuh 2, how are you so sure Numbuh 1 won't just leave and come back here?
Hoagie: Impossible.
He makes his way to Nigel's hiding spot.
Hoagie: I planted a 2x4 technology bug that Numbuh 6 has been working on for a week solid in his shorts.
Alastor: The hardest part was making it waterproof.
Hoagie grabs the bag of chips Nigel was using to cover up.
Hoagie: Thank you. If he left, Numbuh 6 or I would know.
Game: Game over.
Kuki: Yay! I win! I win! I'm bad! Whoo!
Wally throws down his remote in anger as Numbuh 1's door closes.
Wally: Hmm, must have been the wind.
Kuki: So, when you say he'll thank us, do you think he'll give us present?
A door opens and closes, revealing a fully clothed Nigel.
Abby: Back already?
Alastor: He must've figured out that we tracked him.
Hoagie: Oh, he's good.
Kuki: Oh, oh, what did you bring me? What did you bring me?
Nigel: Fellow Kids Next Door members, it has been an honor to battle adult tyranny alongside such brace warriors.
Kuki: A kitten- Did you get me a kitten, huh? Did ya? Did ya? Huh?
Alastor: That'd be the third one in the treehouse, Numbuh 3.
Nigel: So, it is with a heavy heart that I must resign from the Kids Next Door, effective immediately.
Kuki: Oh, I know, I know! You brought me a ferret! Oh, they're so cute and wriggly!
Everyone but Kuki has a look of despair on their face. Nigel starts to walk to the exit but is stopped by Abby.
Abby: Hold up. So we made you go to the stupid beach. That's not bad enough for you to just quit.
Nigel pushed past her.
Nigel: This is a private matter, Numbuh 5. I'm sorry.
Wally jumps down from the couch.
Wally: Dude, you can't just quit!
Nigel: Watch me.
With that, the leader of Sector V leaves.
Alastor: Número Um, não vá (Numbuh 1, don't go).
Everyone is left in shock until Kuki squeals.
Kuki: If he had to leave the room, it's got to be something big!
Kuki gasps.
Kuki: Like a pony!
Wally: Oh, no, you dolt! Numbuh 1 just quit the team! He's not getting you a pony! He's not getting you anything! He's-g-gone! J-A-W-N, gone. Don't you get it?
Wally starts crying.
Furs rolls out into the living space, in his exercise ball and knocks against Alastor's boot.
She lets him out as he wraps around her like a scarf.
Alastor: Obrigado (Thanks) Furs but I think Numbuh 4 needs more emotional support than I do.
Furs nods and gets off his owner and crawls up Wally's leg.
Kuki starts crying after the realization sinks in.
Wally: Okay, you've got it.
The couch has Kuki's stuffed animals surrounding it while Wally comforts her.
Abby: Hmm. Something just doesn't fit here.
Wally: Ooh, don't cry, little girl. Mr. Flopsy Wopsipus wants you to turn that frown upside down, or, uh, or he might leave. Oh wait.
Kuki starts crying even harder.
Alastor: Wrong choice of words, Numbuh 4, don't you think?
Wally: Maybe a little help, Furs?
Furs chitters and crawls over to Kuki, wrapping around her neck softly as her cries start to die down.
Kuki: Thanks, Furs.
Hoagie runs out of Nigel's room, holding an envelope with Nigel written on it in cursive.
Hoagie: Guys, look what I found in Numbuh 1's room!
Alastor walks out, typing on her wrist communicator.
Alastor: You mean what I found when you took it and ran off before I could scan it.
Abby: Let me see that.
She takes out a card as everyone crowds around, Kuki softly crying.
Abby: "Leave your team behind or we'll put your behind in the school yearbook."
Wally: What does that mean?
Abby: I have no idea.
Abby takes out a photo.
Abby: Oh, oh, no! Is that Nigel's heinie?
Hoagie: Wow, that is one big butt!
Wally takes the photo.
Wally: Oh, let me see. Wow! Ho Ho Ho Ho! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Wow! Wowee!
Kuki starts snickering.
Kuki: Where did they get a camera big enough to capture all that tushie?!
Kuki laughs while Wally snickers.
Abby: Come on, guys. This isn't funny. We got to do something.
Alastor: I agree.
Hoagie: Yeah. We've got to get to the bottom of this.
Everyone but Abby and Alastor start laughing harder.
Abby: Now come on, guys.
Kuki: That is not gonna fit in the yearbook.
Alastor fights back her snickers by biting her lip.
Hoagie: Unless they put a big section in the rear.
Alastor stays strong but is slowly losing to Abby's non laughter while everyone laughs.
Abby: Okay, okay. Now, come on, guys.
Hoagie: If I were Numbuh 1, I'd just turn the other cheek.
Kuki and Wally laugh harder while Hoagie shakes his rear, making Alastor and Abby finally break and burst out laughing.
Hoagie: I mean, I hate for him to be the butt of the joke.
Everyone laughs harder.

Ella's POV

The doorbell rings, revealing Nigel when the doors open.
Nigel: You're despicable.
Delightful Children: Thank you, Nigel. Won't you come in?
The Delightful Children step aside and gesture inside.
Delightful Children: And we'll discuss the terms of your surrender.
They all enter a room with a Delightfulization Chamber.
Delightful Children: Now, if you'd be kind enough to step into the Delightfulization Chamber.
Nigel: Delightfulization Chamber? That wasn't part of the deal.
Ella: Since when do we play nice or fair, Nigel?
Delightful Children: Oh. We're fairly certain you'll agree to anything we say.
Bruce holds out the negatives, containing Nigel's blackmail.
Nigel: The negatives. Hyah!
Nigel jumps into action, front flipping his hand off Bruce, kicking Ella down, and propelling forward after jumping off Ashley and Lenny's heads.
Delightful Children: Typical Nigel. Always a chase before we defeat and humiliate you.
Nigel: You won't catch me with my pants down again.
He screams upon interacting with more pantsing crabs.
Delightful Children: You see, Nigel, your big behind gives us a big advantage. The bigger it is, the easier it is to kick.
Nigel gasps as three crabs jump at him.
Nigel fights them off as they keep coming at him.
Suddenly, Nigel finds him in the middle of some crabs, but he jumps away, leaving the crabs to follow.
A crab gets ahold on his shorts and rips them off, revealing more blackmail material.
The Delightful Children gasp.
Delightful Children: Rainbow Monkey undies!
They laugh at his despair.
Delightful Children: This is almost better than your butt shot. Robocrabs, shoot him on our mark. Ready...
The crabs ready their cameras.
Delightful Children: Aim... Fi-!
They scream as their pants and skirts are ripped off. A camera goes off, getting karma.
Abby: All right, Delightful Dopes. You can try and mess with our friend, but I wouldn't.
Hoagie holds a pair of shorts on his shoulder while Kuki holds up two skirts, Wally holds up a pair of jeans and Alastor holds a skirt on her shoulder while twirling a pair of shorts on her finger.
Hoagie: And that's a big "but".
Kuki: Six big butts.
Kuki and Hoagie start laughing, making Alastor cackle evilly at the Delightful's dismay. The Delightful Children gasp and run away, screaming.
Nigel puts his shorts back on.
Nigel: Ah, much better. Thanks, guys.
Wally: You aren't still gonna quit, are you?
Nigel: Negative, Numbuh 4. I don't have to know that I've got these back.
He holds up the negatives.
Hoagie: Those are the negatives?
Kuki: Yeah, how can such a huge tushy fit on that teeny piece of film?
Abby: Guys, now, come on. Nigel's had a big day.
She puts a hand on his shoulder.
Hoagie: Not as big as his butt.
Hoagie, Kuki and Wally laugh while Alastor bites her lip to prevent joining them.
Nigel: Come on, guys. I just want to put this whole thing behind me.
Abby: Well, you got enough room for it back there.
Everyone but Nigel burst out laughing.
Nigel: Funny, guys. That's very funny.
~Next day at KND Treehouse~
Wally: Aw, come on, come on! Knock him down! Come on!
Wally and Kuki engage in a rematch of a video game while Hoagie watches, Abby reads a magazine while Alastor reads a comic book.
Game: Game over.
Kuki: Yay! I win! I win! I'm bad, I'm bad. Whoo!
She and Hoagie laugh as Wally throws down his controller.
Nigel: Come on, guys. It's beach time.
Abby: You're kidding, right?
Nigel: Yesterday I realized that we may not be a team forever, so I want to spend as much of the time we do have hanging out with you guys.
Everyone cheers.
Nigel: Besides, this time, I'm prepared.
Nigel reveals his trucks to be padlock shut around his waist.

End transmission

Trivia

- When Kuki wonders if Nigel got her a kitten, Alastor replied that it'll be the third one in the treehouse, referring to her two kittens
- Alastor is the only one who took the bottoms of a Delightful that isn't the same gender as her. While Wally and Hoagie took the pants of the boys, and Kuki took two skirts from the girls, Alastor takes a skirt and a pair of shorts
- Furs shows off his emotional support as he is an emotional support animal

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