Gambling With Life

114

"argh, come on" "ha kicked your fucking ass" "that's it. I need a new game" hearing his alarm, Tyson shook his head "fuck it. Guess I'm done for now. Have fun" "yeah I'm changing games. Sleep well alright" "will do. You too."
'hmm what is there?. Something different. Oh no way there's crash bandicoot. I remember playing this on the Nintendo. I'm so playing. Where is the control?. Oh fuck yes' jaylah pushed the gear away and grabbed the control. 'okay now I need to remember how to play' sculling her bourbon, jaylah made another one. Looking back at the screen, jaylah started the game. 'this is the fucking best. I haven't played this since I was a kid' bringing back memories of her as a young child, jaylahs eyes watered but she soldiered on. As Zaire entered the room he wanted to laugh as jaylah sat playing crash bandicoot. Getting closer, he moved to sit beside her. "Jaylah" Zaires voice filled with worry, jaylah kept playing "you are crying" "no shit" "why?" "Memories" 'this can't keep going. She has hardly left the fucking house. Marshall is concerned, Im concerned. The only ones that aren't are nicole and Tyson. I have no fucking idea why they siding with her'. Zaire turned the game off making jaylah glare at him. "enough is enough. This shit isn't fucking healthy. You aren't sleeping right, not eating right.." "you just turned my fucking game off" Zaire shrugged "maybe you will fucking listen" "if I wanted to listen, I would but I don't" jaylah turned the playstation back on only for Zaire to turn it off "you need to get some fucking sleep. You have people concerned about you and you don't have one fucking ounce of care" "I care but I don't..." "You have shunned marshall, Bennett, the bar, me.. I get it, you don't like to be controlled but this.. this is not okay. I know you have been grieving.." "if they were such good mates why hasn't it hurt you huh?. You have acted like they were fucking nothing. NOTHING TO YOU" "don't yell at me. We deal with things differently. I'm not going to mope about them like you have been. I'm not going to hide away and run myself into the fucking ground.." "good for you" jaylah grabbed her glass only for Zaire to hit it from her hand "what the fuck was that?. Are you a fucking idiot?" "You don't need anymore" "oh but it's fine for you huh. It's fine for everyone else bar me" "ITS ALL YOU HAVE FUCKING DONE" "ITS NOT ALL I HAVE FUCKING DONE. I EAT, I GO TO THE GYM, WALK AROUND THE FUCKING ISLAND, SWIM, SHOWER, SPEND TIME WITH THOSE WHO DONT TRY TO FUCKING CONTROL ME..." Tyson entered the room and stood inbetween both "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" "HIM ACTING LIKE THAT FUCKING MORON THAT STOPPED ME FROM DRINKING AT THE BAR. CALLED ME FUCKING STUPID AND AN IDIOT. I HAVE FUCKING FEELINGS OKAY AND IF I WANT TO HIDE THEM I WILL. IF I WANT TO FUCKING BREAK IN SILENCE I WILL. IM NOT SOME FUCKING HEARTLESS CUNT THAT CAN DO WHAT EVER HE FUCKING LIKES AND THINKS HE CAN CONTROL MY FUCKING LIFE.." "jaylah relax please" "argh, you know what, I'm going to fucking eat" jaylah walked out and Tyson looked at Zaire "let her fucking grieve Zaire. She's right. You two did stop her and now look, you can't keep an eye on her. Nicole and I have been. Nicole's home in the morning and I'm with her in the afternoon to evening. She's far from stupid and an idiot like he called her. Shes finally been sleeping more every night and the drinking has slowed. You just need to be patient" "she is acting like a fucking bitch. He wants to see her.." "after calling her stupid and an idiot?" "He didn't.." "yes he fucking did. I was there. He told her you two are doing what is right for her... She is doing what is right for her. He said she was drinking herself stupid and acting like an idiot. He dug that hole himself and you are digging one too" "how can you fucking be okay with this?" "It's her life" "this is fucking ridiculous. She needs to stop with that fucking playstation and the drinks" "are you giving up the drinks?" "I'm not the one drinking til I fucking pass out" Tyson shook his head "you sound like vex. Up the bosses fucking ass" Tyson walked out and Zaire followed "I'm not up.." "Nicole and Jasmina are in bed Zaire" "oh so you do fucking care. Just not about yourself. We fucking do" jaylah grabbed her food and walked back to the room. Taking a seat, jaylah started to eat her meal. "You know what? I thought you were better than this. I thought you were a good person. I thought you were stronger than this. But the way you are right now, I don't even want to know you. You are a joke" jaylah held her emotions in until she heard Zaire leave. Throwing the plate at the wall. Jaylah ripped the cords from the wall then stormed out of the room. Looking at Zaire with hatred as tears streamed down her face, jaylah spoke "I FUCKING HATE YOU. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME" then walked out the front door and slammed it shut. "Shit" Zaire swallowed hard as he stared at the door. 'i fucked up big time and this time I don't think there's any way I can work my way back in' Zaire walked to emits room and turned the light on. Seeing a plate and glass shattered, food and drink all over the floor and the cords ripped from the wall, Zaire sat on the edge of the bed running his hands through his hair. 'i need to clean all this up and fix the playstation'.
Zaire exited the room and entered the kitchen. Grabbing a bin bag, Zaire walked back to the room and picked up all the broken pieces as well as the food items before walking back out and disposed of it all. Grabbing the mop and bucket, he then cleaned the floor. 'shit she has ripped the cord from the socket. I don't know if I can fix it' Zaire moved to the chair as he grabbed the cords. Looking at all five of them, Zaire took a deep breath 'she destroyed every single one. I don't even know if I can cut them and put them back in' spending hours working on the playstation cords, Zaire finally mended them and put them back in the socket 'please fucking work' Zaire turned the playstation on. Seeing the screen light up, Zaire took a deep breath. 'its working again'.

'not strong enough? Not a good person?, I'm a joke. Then why the hell am I here?. Why am I trying to mend myself when there's no fucking point' jaylah walked to the gym and grabbed out her ear pods. Turning the music to full, jaylah stepped on to the treadmill. Making it at walking pace, jaylah started to walk. Her body filled with so many emotions, jaylah kept her eyes closed.
'i can't keep doing all this. There's no fucking point anymore. I have been through too much shit but I'm not a good person. This is why I'm still fucking alive. Only the fucking good die young like my parents, kalem, Rey and emit. None of them deserved to die and yet people like Bronx, Lucian and myself still live' jaylah kept her head down as all the negative thoughts raced through her mind. Walking for hours on end, jaylah kept looking at the distance. 'I can keep going'. Pushing herself to her limits, eventually jaylah dropped to her knees and the treadmill took her backwards to the ground. "Are you alright?" "Fine" a concerned tourist looked at jaylah "you are sweating and looked completely exhausted" the man looked at the treadmill then back to jaylah, as she moved to sit on her bottom 'twenty six miles?' "have you seen.. JAYLAH" "you know her?" "Yeah I do" "she has walked twenty six miles" Tyson looked at the treadmill then at jaylah. "We need to get you home. Everyone has been looking for you" "fuck them" Tyson swallowed hard as he picked jaylah up "I'm not strong enough, I'm a shit person, stupid, an idiot and a fucking joke according to them" "you are none of those things jaylah. Fuck what Any of them say" Tyson held on to jaylah tight as he rushed her back to the house. Opening the door, marshall and Zaire looked at jaylah "Nicole can you get her some water please" "yeah.. is she alright?" "Far from" "what the fuck happened to her?" Tyson sat on the chair holding jaylah on his lap as he glared at zaire. "oi, keep your fucking eyes open" "I don't want to keep them open" "you need some water" "here Tyson" "thanks" "drink" jaylah opened her eyes only to feel nauseous. Immediately turning her head, she started vomiting.