Don't Forget About Me

Chapter 39

We lay there in the bath for what feels like eternity. Os is behind me washing soap over my shoulders. It's sweet but it doesn't help this pain that is radiating inside me. I know he can sense it, which I can only assume it's why he hasn't been talking. I break the silence. "I dreamt about the baby." I can feel him breathing faster so I decide to keep on going. "I dreamt it was a girl. But the dream made her disappear. But it made you disappear too." I'm terrified, I don't know what I would do without him. I reached up to wipe the tear that started to fall and Os wrapped his arms around me. "I'm not going anywhere baby, we will get through this." He sighs into me and puts his mouth near my ear. "I miss her too." Her, he said her. I take a deep breath because I don't know what else I could have done. 

"I just don't know what happened Os. What didn't I do right? I don't understand." I pull my legs up and just sit there trying to think of the last two months. "You didn't do anything. Sometimes these things just happen. It wasn't your fault." I have such a hard time believing him but I do. I turn my head to see him over my shoulder. “ I believe you.” I can see his eyes water a bit but he doesnt let it fall. “Let's get out and go find Sara and Octavius, they are probably worried about you.” He said in such a calm voice. All I can do is nod. We get out and dry off then go to our room and grab some clothes. I realize that I don't have any clothes but Os opens a drawer and pulls something out for me to wear. “These were my mothers.” I look at them and want to cry all over again. 

“Are you sure it's ok that I wear them?”  I have to ask because it doesn't feel right in a way. “Yes it's fine, she would have loved you Kelsey.” I see those watery eyes come back to him and he turns quickly. I rush to him and grab his shoulder to turn him to me and when I look at him I see the tears coming down. I can't do anything else but grab his face and put my forehead to his. “I'm so sorry baby, I should have been here. I should have done more. I'm so sorry.” I look up at him and use my thumbs to wipe some of  his tears away. 

“Shh, what  did you just tell me? We will get through this. All we need is each other to push through.” Something about this moment I feel brings us so much closer together. “I don't know why the baby was taken from us. It wasn't time.” I take in a deep breath and realize that I am ok. We will be ok. I pull him into a hug and we just hold each other. When we pull back a few minutes later we look at eachother and realize we are still naked and both of us let out a little laugh which feels good. After we get dressed we walk out and find Sara and Octavius sitting at the kitchen table. When Sara sees me she rushes over to me and hugs me. 

“I'm so sorry Kels, I don't know what else to say. Is there anything that I can do for you?” When she finally lets me breathe I pull back to look at my best friend. “Just be here, that's all we need.” I look at Os and see Octavius is giving him a hug as well and probably says the same thing Sara said to me. I turn back to Sara and give her a small smile but see the tears that are forming in her eyes now. “Hey, it's ok. I'm ok, it just wasn't meant to be right now.” She nods slightly and lets me go slowly. I look at octavius who just let Os go and he rushes over to me and gives me a big bear hug. 

“Anything you need Kels, you say it and it happens.” He then looked at me with the sternest eyes. I think about if there is anything that I really need but the only thing that comes to mind is Mario needing to be ten feet deep. But I'm not going to tell them that. “I'm good, thank you. Just need time to take it in.” He pulled back and went to stand by Sara. We all stand there in silence for a minute longer than Os speaks. “We just wanted to come out and let you guys know that we are ok but I think we are going to lay down now. It's been a long day. They share a look. “Ok, no problem. Just let us know if you need anything ok.” Sara says specifically looking at me. I give her my last little smile and turn with Os and we walk back down the hallway to the room. When we walk in the dark. I walk over to the bed and sit on it and stare out the window and see the moon resting on the lake. If it was any other night I would think that that was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen but I just stare. Os comes over next to me and sits. He puts his arm around me and pulls me to him. 

“We will be ok baby, I promise.” I  turn to him and give him a small kiss because I needed it and I know that he did too. We sit there and stare out the window for what feels like forever until I feel him pull me onto the bed and cuddle behind me. He wraps his arm around me and I can't help the feeling that our little angel is watching down on us. She brought her father back to me just to sacrifice herself but now I know she's watching over us for the rest of our lives and with those last thoughts I drift into sleep and this time the dreams don't come. What comes next is silence and peace for the first time in a long time. Guess she took those with her too.