Chapter 1

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"Kelsey, wake up! Hey, hey, wake the fuck up!" I spring up and find my roommate right in front of me with both hands on my arms. I feel beads of sweat rolling down the side of my face. "What the fuck Kelsey?" Sara said. "You were having another one of those nightmares again. Do you think you need to go see that therapist again?" 

"No! Fuck that, I'll be fine. Just been super stressed lately with school. I'm sorry if I woke you." She looked at me very suspiciously but I can't tell her that I keep having the same dream over and over again about what happened that day. The anniversary of everything is coming up soon and always puts me on edge. 

"It's not a big deal, Kels, I just worry about you, that's all."

I have known Sara for the last 3 years of college, we were roommates in the dorms and since we got along so well we figured when we could we'd get a place off campus. I didn't make many friends here because I always seemed like that odd person out. I didn't really have many friends in high school either, just kept to myself so that I could do well and get out of the shithole situation that I was in back then. I haven't really told her everything about my past. But she doesn't seem to question much which is also why we get along so well. 

As I go to get up, I realize that I am a bit dizzy and need to take it easy. “Take it slow, Kels, you're going to pass out.” 

I turn and give her a small smile, “I'll be ok, no need to worry about me.” She looks at me with sad eyes and all I can see is disappointment. “Sara, I'm ok - don't worry. I probably just need to drink some more water or something I promise.” She nods and heads to the kitchen. 

When she walked out I take that moment to just take a deep breathe and try to think about what I need to do for the day to get my mind off those fucked up dreams. Sara walks back in and gives me a glass of water. “Thanks.” 

I go take a drink and it's definitely refreshing. “I am going to go get in the shower I have to get to class in an hour,” I said to her with a half smile. “Ok, I really hope that you would tell me if there is anything that I can do to help you.” 

“I will, don't worry so much. It's almost summer break and then we will be seniors! We should be starting to talk about that!”

 I try to switch the topic because I know how excited she is to be going into senior year. She gives me a smile and I notice that it's working a little bit. “Yes, definitely! I can't wait for us to be seniors and it's about to be a summer that we will never forget. I can promise you that!” She has been talking about all the parties and fun that we will be having this summer for the last few months. 

What's awesome about Sara is her parents live across the country and are loaded. They also love that Sara found a friend like me, which I always find funny because I am definitely nothing to be excited about. 

They got us this apartment and as long as we get good grades they don't mind paying for it, which isn't a problem because our lives revolve around going to school and coming home. Until this summer, because, according to Sara, it's time we do stuff for ourselves and we start to have some fun. This definitely makes me nervous because I have never been a wild child. I don't talk to boys and barely wear makeup. 

Sara has tried to do my make up once before but when I looked in the mirror all I saw was my mother and it brought me to tears and I just couldn't do it again. 

I will wear mascara and that's about it. I have a very bad habit of wearing clothes way too big for myself but I think that it gets less attention from anyone so that I can focus on what's important and that's making a career for myself so that I can be better than my past and make a better future. 

Sara, on the other hand, is extremely pretty and loves dressing cute. I always wonder what made her want to be friends with me cause we are very different. But she always tells me it's because I am real and all the other girls are fake and she hates fake. That always makes me laugh. 

After I get out of the shower and get dressed, I grab a long sleeve gray sweater and some blue jeans. These jeans are probably the tightest that I have but Sara had got them for me for my birthday and said they made my butt look good. Standing in the mirror I just look at myself and realize that my butt does look good in these. 

As I walk out of the room Sara is in the kitchen making coffee and it smells so good! “Do you want some coffee, Kels?” 

Walking around the counter I say, “Of course I do. What would I do without you?” 

She laughed, “I have no idea, live life without coffee and cute jeans?” We both started to laugh and I looked up at the clock. 

Shit. “I need to get to my first class, are you all good here?” I asked as she looked up. Then she took a drink from her coffee and she nodded and I turned to grab my bag. 

As I walked to the door, “Kels?” I turned around to look at her, “have a great day ok?” She said with a weird expression. 

This is her trying to be like the over protective sister that I never had. “I will, you have a great day, too!” I said with a smile. And with that I was on my way out of the door and to my first class. I really hope I can have a good day because it's only Monday and this whole week leading up to the anniversary of everything happening  is not even here yet. I just shake my head and start to think of where I have to go first. 

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