Bad Sanses x Reader: Parody Version

Parody Two - The Dungeon Cliché

"Why are you pretending to be afraid when you're not? No, here's a better question: why are you not even afraid-?"

"Oh come on, it's for the sake of the story, I had to be the damsel in distress. Well, guess the logic and common sense still lives here." Y/N answered almost emotionlessly. "You can let me go now. I won't try to escape or anything. Besides, your goo is disgusting me-"

Nightmare let Y/N go and commanded Horror to tie them in a leash and put them in prison. "Woah, woah." Y/N stopped them with a hand raised. "Really dude? That's cheap. We can do other things instead like talking things out, do you need to prolong it with a torture of my life? Because I don't hate to break it to you, but I've been to worse. So no thank you, let's just talk this out-"

"Yeah, yeah. You're smart, you're a know-it-all, you know that much, now let's go-"

"Shut up, Horror. I'm not talking to you."

"Just shut the fuck up and go with him."

"But-"

"GO."

Y/N sighed in pity. "Okay, fine. I feel bad for your screen time. It's gotten embarrassing instead of the cliched bad boy-damsel in distress scene."

Y/N followed Horror after realizing the leash was already tied around their neck. "Aren't you going to kill me or something? This is ridiculous." Y/N told Horror attempting not to laugh.

Horror shrugged and asked if Y/N wants to be killed by him. "Of course not, I'm not suicidal." Y/N said, "But I've accepted death a long time ago. Shit happens and we have to deal with it."

"Then it's better to prolong your suffering by staying alive in here." Horror grinned innocently and pushed Y/N to their personalized cell. The bars were closed shut. "Really? It doesn't have to be like this, y'know? This is such a cliche." Y/N commented on the scene.

After being ignored for a while, Y/N decided to think about what to do next. 'I could just play the part of being the damsel in distress. But what should I be? The innocent one? The depressed one? The naïve one? The shy one? The badass one? The evil one? The yandere one? The half human one? The hybrid one? Or just simply being me? Yeah, let's go with the latter. So what exactly happens in cliched scenes like this? What does the damsel do? What does the bad guy do? It is cold in here... So maybe I'm expected to ask for some blankets in a shy anime way. God, that's just stupid. I got to make progress somehow though to just end this and get it over with.'

"H-h-hey..." Y/N said, pretending to be shy. Eyes sparkling with innocence.

Horror scoffed. "Oh, now you're pretending to be innocent now? Human, this is not funny-"

When he turned at Y/N, his whole world flipped apart. Yeah, that was an exaggeration. Those sweet eyes asking for warmth and comfort, the need to have someone with them, how frail and fragile they looked, and that cute little beg... (Pfft.)

"I-it's so c-c-cold in here..." Y/N praised their acting skills internally. "C-can I at least have s-some blankets?" 'Pfft, it's working. How illogical.'

"Uh..." Horror was frozen for a moment and then nodded. "I'll... Be right back. Stay here." He abruptly left before Y/N sighed in pity again. "Of course I'll stay here, idiot." Y/N whispered. "I'm literally trapped in here."

Y/N thought of several cliched things and hypothesized what will be the outcomes of their actions. They tried to predict what happens next and what endings they will face. It's not possible for the creator to kill them. They need them for the sake of the story, after all. Even if these guys are cold-blooded killers, people don't care about that. They'll make any possible shit they can do to make the bad boy villain group with a damsel character. 'I'll show those Sanses how absurd this shit is.'

Horror teleported on his security spot and threw the blankets at them. "Hey, are you there? I mean... If you need some comfort, I can assure you there-"

"No I don't, no thank you. The blankets are enough. Now kindly shut up because you're disturbing my mind palace." Y/N said with their eyes closed, as if the shy simulation never happened at all. Horror sulked in annoyance because he just got played and fooled by their acting skills. He was thinking of taking back the blankets.

Dust teleported beside Horror and told him that Nightmare was ready to talk to the human. "Heard that, human?" Horror turned at them and opened the cell door. "You're ready to-"

"Oh great yay, come on, let's get this over with." Y/N got out quickly and walked as if they already know the way. "Ugh, wait human, you might get lost-!"

"Don't worry about me, I've memorized and remembered the way to the room where I previously met your boss, so it should be no big deal." Y/N dismissed Horror. "God, you just exposed me the way from the first room to the dungeon, how can I not know?"

"And about the blankets-?"

"Oh it's okay, I don't need that now. You can keep it. Bye."

Dust held his laughter while Horror was too flustered to even speak. Y/N went to the previous room where they met Nightmare and saw him there. Nightmare asked where the other two are and Y/N just answered him with their indifferent face. "So let's talk about business." Y/N kept their poker face intact, signaling their hands with confidence. "What do you need me for and why?"

"You already know that you're the only human in here, right? And you already know we need you hostage. It's because there's a group called the Star Sanses and we need to lure them in getting to their base by using a human and that could be you as you're the only one existing in this multiverse. We need to at least stop them permanently in disrupting our plans-"

"And how many people are there in this 'Star Sanses' group?"

"Uh... Three? Why did you ask?"

"And how many members do you have in here?"

"Uh... Four? Why did you ask?"

"So you're saying that you need me hostage because you can't catch three elusive people and you want to find their base so that you'll cause mass destruction towards the multiverse, not even thinking of the fact that there are a lot of strong people in the multiverse that can flick you with their fingers and you have four members who can't even stop these Star Sanses? Also, how can you be sure that the Star Sanses will try and rescue me in exchange of the location of their base? The logical thing would probably be they'll left me alone for dead. Also, why need me for hostage when you can just make hostage of a universe instead? That'll be a better compromise than a human they have no idea of and that they're just a bystander here in this multiverse. Also, do you have nothing else better to do instead of ruining everyone's life? Unless you are compelled to do so for a reason. Trauma? Serious mental health issues? Philosophical beliefs? Overall, I must say I have overestimated your intelligence."

Nightmare paused for a moment, absorbing the harsh information thrown at him. It was obvious Y/N was looking down on Nightmare. "And I have underestimated yours."

"Okay, now that is settled." Y/N still spoke like an emotionless machine giving in information no one asked for. "What are you going to do to me now?"

"Well, I'm going to keep you."

Instead of wondering in surprise, Y/N just sighed in pity again. "I knew it... It's for the sake of plot. Keep me for what and why?"

"Keep you for company... Because you're interesting."

Y/N shrugged and stood up. "Just make sure you don't make me your romantic partner in the end." They left the throne room before Nightmare wondered what they meant by romantic partner.

Y/N met Killer by chance. He was laughing about what they said. "Romantic partner? Pfft. What nonsense are you talking about?" He said.

Y/N just stared at them with their usual poker face. "Trust me... It'll happen. And things are going to get even more nonsensical, you won't see it coming." They said as they walked away, leaving Killer more confused and curious than before.