Bad Sanses x Reader: Parody Version

Parody Four - The Dining Room Cliché

Nightmare pouted his way to the dining room and sit crossed legged. He just played right into the human's hands. The other members arrived and it was actually dinner time. Y/N was the last and they were reading a book. "Oh, this is the eating time cliche." Y/N muttered. "I am expected to sit on whoever's lap or get involved in their corny conversations while start a food fight or talk about plans about how to kill the Star Sanses. Lovely."

They sat on an empty chair which was Dust's chair. "That's my spot." Dust said banging the table.

"Yeah and I am sitting here, so might as well find another." Y/N said turning the page on the book. "I see you've cleaned your jacket, by the way."

"Heh." He smirked at them. "And that's all you can read now, human?"

Y/N turned at him and observed him from head to toe. "Well, you probably cleaned it with dishwashing soap which is a bad idea as your jacket still smells so you submerged it in a bucket of perfume and now the smell is too strong. I'm guessing the perfume you used is baby perfume, no? You also went and stole a chocolate bar from Error's room seeing the crumbs of chocolate from your shirt and I assumed it's Error's because he just ate a chocolate bar with the same brand I saw from your trash bin not too long ago. Oh and, you accidentally threw your boxers on a trash can so you used vinegar and dishwashing soap again to finish the job. Oh and, you're wearing the same boxers you threw in the trash-"

"Just shut the fuck up."

Error glared at Murder. "YOU- *BEEP* you stole my chocolate??"

Dust grinned embarrassingly. "N-no?"

Horror and Killer laughed so hard, they couldn't eat properly. "What the hell, Murder? You don't know how to wash your clothes?" Horror cackled.

"Want me to lend you some of my boxers?" Killers added.

"And baby perfume-" Horror wheezed. "Where did you get one?"

"Shh." Y/N silenced them. "I did not come all the way here to embarrass him."

They started begging Y/N to tell them more about their life stories to bully humiliating shit to each other. Y/N ignored most of it and some they complied. "Horror played with his rubber duck in the bathroom with baby soap." Or "Killer was flirting himself in front of a mirror." Or "Error wanted to knit a black scarf but his yarn got messed up several times because the color was too black, so he turned it into a Nightmare Sans puppet."

"I'm sorry, what?"

Error: "The *beep* hhhhhow *beep* how did you find outtt-?"

Killer: "There's no way you can figure that out just by looking at me."

Horror: "I-it was just once..."

Dust: "Please, just get the fuck out of my seat."

Y/N changed spots and Nightmare began talking about plans to lure the Star Sanses and turn it the other way around. "Are you kidding me? We talked about this." Y/N declared. It didn't really change the cliché fact so Y/N moved on and kept saying they won't participate. "If you want to lure the Star Sanses using me, then make sure I won't just wear tattered clothes and cry bullshit and call it a day." They said.

"Who does that?"

"I don't know, who?"

"Do you know how to use weapons?"

"Oh it's nothing much, really." Y/N answered almost apathetically. "I can use the sword and learned self defenses using a knife, dagger, and gun. I was also the best kid in archery so I can do that too. I did try a spear but I'm not too good at it unlike Undyne, even though she said I did a good job. My favorite one is actually the umbrella, it's safe to bring and simple to use as a defense weapon. Did I forget to mention the-"

"Yeah, yeah, you can use all the weapons available and beat up your opponent with whatever you're holding even if it's just a keychain." Horror rolled his pinpricks in envy.

"Uh, that was what I was about to say. A keychain." Y/N added.

"Uh... Moving on, any powers in particular?"

"Yeah I do, I can use the power of deduction to tell everyone your life story."

"That's a power, all right." Murder said sarcastically.

"Of course it was sarcasm. I don't have any powers." Y/N sighed in pity. Seems to be their signature phrase. "Though, if ever the creator decides to give me half-human, half-hybrid powers I never asked for, I'm going to rethink my whole existence again."

"Half what? What's that?" Horror asked while gorging himself a roasted chicken.

"Half powers that are so cliched, you'll be shocked if it happens to me." Y/N turned the next page. They were so invested in the novel The Sorrows of Young Werther they didn't pay attention to half of what the others were saying. "Hey human, what's your name?" Horror finally asked. They were waiting to know for a while but no one seemed to know.

Y/N sighed in pity again. "Really? In chapter one Frisk just shouted my name. How come you did not pay any attention and remember? Were your minds wandering off somehwere? How boring are your ordinary little minds in there?"

"Just tell us, you didn't have to be mean."

"It's Y/N. A Y and an N."

"Really?"

"Well, some can call me shit, which of course I do not prefer. Means in reality I'm probably a depressed person who's too afraid to take the painful responsibility of depression." Y/N said.

"Y/N~" Killer teased them. "Can you sit on my lap?"

"No."

"Can I feed you instead while you read then?"

"No."

"Can you pretend to be frail so I can protect you?"

"No."

"Can you at least pretend you like me?"

"No."

"Aw, that hurts, I'm rejected." Killer was half-serious about it.

Y/N thought of a cliche and was curious whether it would work on these Sanses or not. They tried to eat in a shyly awkward way. "What the fuck are you doing? Just eat it normally." Dust cringed a bit.

"Eh, I tried." Y/N ate while looking at the book. Horror put mustard and mayo on their food to see if they were really paying attention while eating. They didn't. They ended up barfing in the bathroom. Horror laughed exaggeratedly as Y/N entered the living room offended. "It's not fucking funny." Y/N said with a stern look on their face. They did not think the prank was funny. "Aw, angry, Y/N?" Horror jeered. The rest of them found it cute.

"Yes. I'm angry, hypocrite. You think I'll find this cheap prank funny? Well, I'm willing to be a party pooper if you guys find this laughable."

"Chill, you don't have to take it too seriously."

"Yeah well, grow up kids. I seem to be more matured than you guys." Y/N said and threw a tomato at Horror. "There. Food fight. You know the drill."

A food fight commenced and Y/N left the room because they're not going to participate in something too messy. They still have a book to read.