Bad Sanses x Reader: Parody Version

Parody Twelve - The Villains Cliché

At the star sanses' base, Y/N drank tea like a British person as if no shit happened at all. Ink eyed them skeptically while tapping the floor with his foot. He didn't like the human right from the start. Blue gave them tacos, typical Blue, while Dream healed their bruises while they were at the castle. The bruises weren't that bad since Y/N could defend themselves, but they were the results of the villain sanses' surprise attacks for them.

"So... care to let us introduce ourselves? You act as if you've known enough about us to drink your tea." Ink said. He was annoyed by the impertinence Y/N displayed especially right from their first meeting.

"Ink, Dream, and Blue, right?" Y/N said munching a taco. "I'm Y/N. There's not much to know about me. All I am concerned about is what comes next before the rescue mission."

"What comes next? Oh, let's see... right now, the bad sanses are running frantically to different AUs just to snatch you again. Yeah, they're trying to lure us to relinquish you, but instead we're here trying to save your ass out of them." Ink said.

"No not that, idiot. That one is a predictable outcome of a cliche. What I meant is... what cliche is next."

The star sanses were confused but didn't dare to question further or it might just bewilder them more. A dagger suddenly whizzed past Y/N's face and they all prepared themselves for the worst. A self-proclaimed hot, yandere dude appeared and chuckled dementedly. "Too late, my precious Y/N."

"Okay, who the hell are you? Because I don't remember meeting a creep like you." Y/N said. They wanted to have an idea what he was but nothing came to mind. It was their first time and it made them nervous. Their first taste of cluelessness.

"You don't remember? We had an arrange marriage when you were 15! My, you are still cute until now, my beloved~" He said. "It's me, your destined partner."

"What the fuck?" Ink turned to Y/N and forced to tell what he was talking about. "Ah shit..." Y/N said.

"Okay uh, there must be a misunderstanding, sir..." Dream said. "Y/N told us their relationship status has always been and always will be single."

"Hah! Y/N, how could you betray me for that fool of an octopus skeleton? You think he's hotter and colder than me? Your eyes must have problems." The yandere guy said, winking. Y/N wanted to resolve this stupidity once and for all.

"Okay, son of a bitch. First of all, every single one of you look like monkeys to me. And second..." Y/N stepped forward. "I don't have a family so it's impossible that I have an arranged marriage especially all of a sudden. Third, get out of here. Your IQ sickens the whole village."

"My, you have gotten audacious. It appears I must teach you a lesson again..." The yandere guy said smirking. Y/N sighed in pity. When he threw a dagger again, Y/N caught it and attacked him with it. He fell with a knockout punch.

Ink was surprised by the great physicality they have. He suggested for everyone to get out of the base. They teleported to Underswap when Blue got choked by a random psycho lady. "Ha... Haha! Killer's mine! How dare you snatch him away from me, Y/N? I'll teach you a fucking lesson-"

Y/N kicked her jaw and she flew to the tree branch. "Uh, they're the type who would blame you for 'stealing' their crush. They're harmless, no worries." They said. They teleported to another AU in hopes of not getting any more crazies. Y/N was met by a seemingly undead person. "Remember me, Y/N?!" They cried.

"No." Y/N said bluntly. "Let me guess, you were my sister whom I killed by accident in a lake."

"Yes!" The sister said. "You stole what's mine! Now I'll show you no mercy!"

"I have a bad feeling about this-"

Ink was cut short when the undead sister turned into a super hybrid/half angel/half devil/half alpha werewolf/half elf/half druid/half snake and she looked like the 10x worse version of Medusa. "Holy shit!" Ink shouted and it echoed.

"That thing-" Dream looked away in absolute disgust. "Is beyond concerning."

"I think she needs a hospital..." Blue said.

"Oh my god...?" Y/N said still shocked at the unexpected transformation of their so called sister. "How do we beat that... ehem, thing?"

"I WILL KILL YOU AND DESTROY THIS MULTIVERSE! WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! AND AFTER THAT I WILL HAVE NIGHTMARE AS MY KING OF THIS WORLD! AND WE WILL HAVE BABIES! BUT WAIT, WHAT HONEYMOON SHOULD I SET UP- OH I KNOW! AFTER THAT WE'LL-"

They watched her blabbering about all sorts of shit. "Is she into my brother? Because I wouldn't approve of their marriage." Dream said.

"I don't think he would want an octopus for his wife despite him being one right now." Y/N said and yawned.

"Can someone make her shut up?" Blue said quietly. "I think I've heard too much."

"Ink, can you make a big slingshot and throw me to her face? I'll end her." Y/N said.

"If it means shutting her up." Ink said.

"AND WE'LL HAVE A SON AND A DAUGHTER- EEK! I CAN'T WAIT- OH AND OUR DESTINED CHILDREN SHALL STOMP THE GRAVE OF Y/N- AND WE'LL HAVE, UM, MORE BABIES-!"

Y/N flew towards the hybrid sister and punched her face that would make Saitama proud. Y/N landed on the ground safely and they questioned how when humans would normally get their bones broken. The hybrid sister swirled into the air and rolled into the ground and hit her head on a rock. "Is she okay?" Blue asked.

"If you ask me... no." Dream approached the sister and healed her wounds. "I should bring her to a mental hospital before she marries my brother-"

"Oh, bring her to AsylumTale." Ink suggested.

When Dream left, the bad sanses walked out of their hiding spot and grinned dementedly. Ink and Blue were startled when they saw them. Y/N expected this somehow. "You can't run away from us, Y/N." Murder said.

"How do you track me that easy?" Y/N checked themselves to see if there was a hidden camera or something. "Do people usually make the villain's job easier? This can't be fair."

"Give us Y/N back!" Cross charged at Ink with his giant knife.

"Uh, sorry Cross, but I don't think this kind of human will be better off under your care." Ink shielded himself with his brush.

Nightmare's tentacles were directed at Y/N. They jumped and dodged it out and proceeded to escape.

"Where are you going?!" Blue shouted. He was barely distracting the Murder Time Trio from catching Y/N.

"Somewhere to hide?" Y/N answered almost uncertainly but no one cares at the moment. Someone followed them, and right now, the end is near.