Can I Crash Here? (Ranboo X Reader)

Chapter 36

The drive there was extremely quiet.

Normally we would be joking the entire time, we just sat in silence as we pulled up to my brother's house to pick up Bri and Derik.

At first Bri tried to lighten the mood "Really y/n, how come I cant ride shotgun" but she then read the room.

"Hey" she says grabbing my hand from the back seat "Its gonna be Ok" I look to see looks of sympathy from her and my brother.

I feel the tears in my eyes, but I don't feel the pain that comes with them. I still don't feel.

When we pulled up to the funeral, we all got out of the car, I felt my brother grab my hand gripping it a bit tightly, I squeezed back.

When we walked into the doors, we were met by everyone apologizing.

I never understood why people would say "I'm sorry for your loss". Like, unless you killed them, it's not your fault, so don't apologize.

There was only one person that I wanted an apology from. My mother.

She technically killed him, they were fighting so she told him to leave, it happened almost weekly.

Except when he left this time, he wasn't expecting someone to run a red-light, into the driver seat of his Jeep.

I know it wasn't actually her fault, but between acidently killing my father figure, and putting me through hell as a kid, I was pretty pissed.

After thanking all of the "Sorry for your losses", I spotted her in the corner, in a long black dress, touching the top of her heels, with her hair curled, and a ring on... the ring he gave her.

I remember the wedding clearly. I was a Jr bridesmaid. I had my hair done, makeup down, and a long silky royal blue dress with black flats on. The same flats I'm wearing right now.

I feel my brother squeezing my hand to bring me back reality.

I mutter a quick 'sorry', and we keep walking.

The rest of the night I managed to keep my composure, not a single tear fell. I didn't stick with my brother the entire time, I caught up with some friends of dad's, and completely reconnected with my childhood best friend, Marshall.

We exchanged numbers to keep in touch, and I promised to visit next time I was in state.

My mood slightly lightened, and earge to cry got smaller until, right as we were about to go back to Jessie's, "y/n, can I talk to you".

This bitch. Did she change, probably not, unless she actually did, who the fuck knows, not me.

"Yeah, sure mom" I say faking a friendly smile, getting a genuine one from her making me shiver.

"Lovely, do you think you could come over tomorrow around 1pm?" She asks me.

"Hell to the god damn no" is what I wish I said, instead I said " yeah, sure thing".

I caught up with the others, and hopped in the beck seat, however Bri was too slow, so Derik got shotgun.

As soon as we pulled out of the parking spot, I started crying.

I didn't care anymore if it messed up my make up(if you chose to wear makeup), and just let it all out.

Bri unbundled her seat belt, and scooted over to hug me, while Derik grabbed my hand squeezing it tightly from the front seat, and Jessie started saying comforting things.

When we got back to Jessie's, Bri came with instead of going with Derik when we dropped him off.

Bri stayed in the back with me until we got back to Jessie's place.

I flopped down on the couch, and rapped my self in a blanket.

I can't do this tomorrow.

Not with her.

Not with anyone.

I. Can't. Do. This.