Willa

Chapter Two: Am I?

"Willa" My Mom bellows from the bottom of the stairs "Lehi is here darling"

Four words that should have made my knees weak, and my heart flutter, but god dammed if it didn't stir even a flicker of interest. It wasn't  that I didn't like Lehi, because he was actually rather wonderful, kind, honest, and he had a lovely family who were all committed to the church.

It's funny how all of my requirements for a love match ended with "Committed to the church" it was as if I spent my entire life hearing it, consuming it and believing it. My future was to marry a man of our church, have at least five children, at least, minimal requirement for our eternal family (in our family at least) and bring them all up to be just as committed as we were.

My sons would go on missions, and be proud holders of the priesthood, whilst my daughters would be true to the church, and go on missions themselves, if I was lucky. They would be modest, go to college if they wished, but try not to seek a job that would take them away from home too much, certainly not full time work, because a woman's duty in our world was to her family.

A woman was to nurture and to love her family with everything, and I mean everything, she has. In fact it was as if we didn't get a life to ourselves, during our entire existence. We were always working on being better for our church, Jesus Christ, and then when we finally peaked and left our family home, our husbands took us and placed us in their homes, and the whole cycle started again.

"I don't want to be a wife" I sighed, falling dramatically from my chair and slipping to the floor, sprawling out there on the wooden surface.

"Willa" Allie said from the bed above me as she peeked down "It's going to happen, sooner than later... we are sixteen"

I fling my arm across my face, hiding my grimace. "I shan't do it... I shan't marry Lehi Wallis"

"Well I should hope not" Allie groans, standing from the bed, admiring my dramatic state on the floor and reaching to pull me to my feet "after all, you should then be Willa Wallis, and that just won't do" she said trying not to laugh, as I digested that of which I hadn't considered.

"Oh Allie...that's awful. I hadn't even thought"

She releases my hand, as I come to my feet. I straighten out my unruly hair, which now resembles a birds nest, from the static that rubbed at it as I slipped down the chair.

"Well I thought about it yesterday after you left. I considered all the reasons Lehi wasn't the one for you, and it was top of an incredibly long list Willa..."

"You wrote a list" I ask, a little taken aback. "Let me see it"

She raises her eyebrows "No" she says opening the door to my bedroom, and peeking over the banister.

"Hi Allie" Lehi calls as he spots her "is Willa coming down" he asks.

I roll my eyes, because I don't want to go on this movie date anymore I want to go to Allies house and read her list. I must admit, I was curious with such a wonderful catch as Lehi, what it could possibly say, and the thought makes me stifle a laugh.

Allie looks to me and back to Lehi "she's on her way" she says, holding out her hand to me with a reassuring smile that lifts her lips "come on... we've wanted to see this movie for weeks, and your dads paying" she reminds me.

"Okay" I muse "but what if he tries to kiss me or hold my hand" I say a little worried about sitting in the dark beside him.

Boys were still an absolute mystery to me, and as someone who loved to solve mysteries...this wasn't one I had any inclination to solve, let them remain so. If that didn't tell me all I needed to know about my feelings for boys, I didn't know what would.